april 27th

The day we have been waiting for and preparing for for months and months.  The day that I thought seemed so very far away.  It is here, yet it doesn't mean anything anymore.  However, it will make the future so much better, when all is said and done and Bethany and Phillip are parents.

Over the last several weeks I didn't have any time to devote to this blog or the journey as a whole.  I tried to stick to the healthy eating and exercising but all of this fell by the wayside.  I was put back on track last week when my cousin from Baltimore said "are you sad about this weekend?"  I had no clue what she was talking about - we don't have plans anymore so there was nothing going on.  She had to remind me about being in Baltimore and the transfer that is now on hold.

My own response surprised me as much as it surprised her.  I am not sad.  I am happy and thankful.  This is God's timing and I know everything will be fine at the end of this.  If the baby doesn't get here for a couple of extra months, that is okay, too.  Every ounce of me was so impatient throughout the process, but now, I have to thank God for making me pause to focus on other parts of my life that have needed it.  It is so tough, but we are managing and getting through this difficult time with some wonderful memories that I will forever hold dear.

Bethany and I were able to connect yesterday, too.  I think she has come to terms with the unknown for now and that it makes the most sense for all of us.  I got this quote in an email last week from SGF and I just love it - maybe it can be a reminder for you, too.

While we can't control most of what we experience, we can control our approaches and reactions.  I will do my best to write and reflect more so everyone knows what is going on and also because this has become an outlet that I now realize I have missed.