There's not much going on, but we did not get that house I so adored. It's okay. When the time is perfect, the right thing will come along and it will be ours. I am not going to sweat about it. I continue to have extreme exhaustion to the point where working is getting tough most days. I can't get out of bed to walk in the mornings - I am just that beat, even when going to bed at normal times. Sleep during the middle of the night has been elusive for quite some time, but I am not normally so fatigued during the day. Then, it dawned on me that I have been taking the unisom at night as directed. I am putting an end to that today for sure. I am thinking that it is leaving me so very groggy, which is spiraling everything else out of control - to try and stay focused, I eat. I eat the wrong things and feel like hell. I don't exercise. It's just bad. I hope this crap is resolved soon!
In other news, Dan's photographer came out to the house yesterday morning and got pictures so that when we are ready to put it on the market, it will be an easy flip of the switch. I will tell you that having nothing on the counters is pretty peaceful! I am not putting anything back until I need it - maybe some things will never make it back to their home they've had for years!
These days I am feeling much better, which is typical. As one approaches the end of the first trimester, a lot of the yucky symptoms start to subside on their own. I am so thankful! Most days I am feeling pretty darned good, however, exhausted. I am not sure why this extreme exhaustion has set in, but I am taking it as it comes. It is hard to believe we are 12 weeks pregnant! This is the point that a lot of people will share with their world that they are expecting, as they believe they are safe to carry to term. I think we all would be naïve to deem ourselves in the clear anytime soon. That said, we will continue to take it day by day and be thankful for each step forward.
On the home front, Jacob and I found another house that we really like. I love it - it is probably only .6 miles away from where we are now, just in the neighborhood across the street. It is simply beautiful! We put an offer on it and will know tomorrow if it has been accepted or not. My fingers are crossed - I think this could be the one!
Today has been another busy one! I got labs drawn first thing - it was pretty easy, other than being back over at Stony Point and I got my vaccine a little later this morning.
While there were only two needle sticks, check out how much blood they had to get from me this morning! When the tickets kept being printed, I was staring at the phlebotomist, thinking there is no way they can get that much at one time. She didn't flinch, though. Rolled with it and got it all! Good thing is that I didn't really feel bad or anything afterwards, either.
My arm is starting to get sore at the injection site for the vaccine, but nothing I can't handle. Halfway there! My second shot is schedule in May! Yippee!
Tonight has been a little crazy. It could have been much busier, but Phillip's parents dropped off supper for all of us. So so kind. It should last at least a couple of nights, which means that so much is alleviated on my end!
I sent a message to Dr. C, letting her know that my insurance will approve the NIPT testing with a certain diagnosis code, so that is good. She will add that draw to my other labs for the morning. The best news is that I scheduled my first COVID vaccine for tomorrow!! I will be heading out to Providence Forge in the middle of the day, but who cares! I will go anywhere - well, that is not true. I could have gone to Walmsley Blvd tonight, but I opted not to go there for many reasons and wait until tomorrow.
Before my appointment today, I started to get a little uncomfortable. Bethany and Phillip are about to see my body in ways that they never wanted to. Frankly, I'd rather show them my vagina than all of my fat, but we are all in this together and I refuse to be weird and hope that I don't make them uncomfortable. I sent them a text while on their way to let them know they will probably see way more than they had signed up for, but that together we would just move on.
Our visit was at VCU out at Stony Point for our first ultrasound and OB appointment with Dr. C. I was so excited, but on the other hand a little nervous if everything wasn't on track. Bethany and Phillip are on vacation and made the drive from their destination to be present. It's only Monday and I didn't want to run the rest of their vacation.
I am happy to report that there is a healthy little fetus in my belly with a strong heartbeat! Watching the baby on the screen was cool, but watching Bethany and Phillip's reactions was beyond joyful. Seeing them so happy and excited was way better than any of my own ultrasounds. The little one was kicking and wiggling all around. It was just beautiful to watch them watch the baby.
There was a lull in between the two appointments so we caught up and talked. They were excited to text family the good news, but the WIFI in the building wasn't very conducive for that. When we were called back by the nurse, I probably embarrassed Bethany and Phillip. I was told at that time that only one person could go back with me. I was adamant that I spoke with the nurse and was told that anyone could attend as long as they had masks on. I was pissed. I cleared this with the nurse that I spoke to twice when scheduling. Dr. C's nurse went and got the clinical supervisor on staff and she held to her guns - only two people in the room - the one presenting pregnant and one guest. Even after explaining the situation, they still said no. All in all, I was so mad and embarrassed myself a little, but this is a big deal to me and while they may not stand their ground, I want to stand it for them.
When we got back to the room, the nurse, who was just lovely seemed to be walking on eggshells. I apologized to her for my mood and she said she understood, but I still felt bad - it is not her fault - she is just upholding the rules of the facility. (I am not sure why there was no issue with the ultrasound, but I just have to be thankful for that.) The nurse went over several things with us and it was nice that when she mentioned pediatricians, she looked directly at Bethany. This, my friends, is how it is supposed to be. Even though I am the one carrying the baby, the providers typically talk to me and that is not how it should be. Bethany thanked her and I feel like that helped create a really good atmosphere, too. I think that when I go into appointments now, I am going to ask that Bethany is addressed first for any baby questions. Unless only pregnancy related, she should be consulted first at all times.
Dr. C confirmed that everything looks great and asked us about chromosomal testing. While I have always gotten the one at 16 weeks, there is a more accurate one that can be done now that can give indication of the 13/18/21 chromosome defects that may need to guide any future decisions. I need to call insurance, first, though, because this test (NIPT) is much more expensive than the typical 16 week one (NT).
I had three specific questions for Dr. C:
1 - how can I help the constipation? Dr. C said that I can take Colace up to three times a day - woohoo!!
2 - is there anything I can take to get a full night's sleep? Unisom is the answer here.
3 - can I get my COVID vaccine? Dr. C said absolutely very quickly. Apparently she has seen the devastation COVID has caused during pregnancy and strongly believes that the protection can be a huge help down the road.
As we scheduled our next visits, I was going to head to the lab to get bloodwork. However, the lab was closed for lunch and I would have to wait until 1pm or go tomorrow to get the labs drawn. I opted to go back tomorrow since we were on a time crunch and Jacob was meeting us for lunch. Together, the four of us had a lovely lunch over at Stony Point! It was delicious and the time together was wonderful. I left with such peace and joy in my heart. Bethany and Phillip get to return to vacation and celebrate and we will will march forward in hopes for a healthy little baby to enter our world in October!
With so much going on, my brain is has been preoccupied. When I get a moment to sit back and relax, I think about this pregnancy and the little life in my belly. Most people don't wait 3 weeks to see their OB after their last appointment with RE. When I take a moment to think about our next appointment, my nerves come into play. As always, I want that confirmation again that we will see a heartbeat and a thriving little one!
Over the last week, I haven't had any bleeding, which is a great sign. I did have some brown mucusy discharge earlier in the week and I reached out to my nurse. She said this is absolutely normal. I should only be alarmed if I have any bright red bleeding, and a substantial amount of it.
Even though we will wait until Monday for confirmation, there is no reason to believe that anything as gone awry. I'm tired, but I am at peace and so thankful for this journey and where this path is taking us!
Isn't it the truth - life is a headache. One after another. With beauty all about. How we approach and react to those headaches makes all the difference in the world. If we didn't feel the tough times, we wouldn't appreciate the great times.
I am so thankful to be where I am today and I am doing my best to enjoy each day of this pregnancy. Yes, at times it is tough, but I must say that this is my easiest pregnancy thus far. I was very worried about headaches as a result of the discontinuation of meds. Thankfully, it hasn't been too bad at all. Yes, I have had a few sporadic headaches but not constant and not to the extent of what I have had after the last two times I stopped meds.
To try and justify this, I think that the last two times, my body knew that I was not pregnant or that the baby was no longer viable so there was no reason for my body to be creating its own hormones as it does in any pregnancy. So, I believe that my body is keeping my hormone levels up and there is not a huge drop in that with no additional meds for supplementing. What a pleasant surprise!!!
10, ten TEN. TEN WEEKS. It is hard to believe that we are here. I am so grateful but also hesitant to get excited. Things could turn at any time. Frankly, I even emailed our nurse this morning because I have now "graduated" to my OB. Even with graduating, though, the discontinuation of meds means that my body isn't being "tricked" any longer to keep the fetus in and will continue on its own. That said, should anything have gone awry since our 8.5 week heartbeat, my body will begin to reject the fetus and I should start to bleed in the next few days.
While this seems excruciating, it is somewhat a relief to know what my body is doing verses just listening to meds and having no clue before the next appointment. We all know that nothing is guaranteed, if we do not see anything crazy in the next several weeks, we should experience good appointments.
One item that makes me nervous about stopping all meds is the fact that I am bracing for a pretty rough headache for the next 1.5-2 weeks. The last two times my medicine regimen was stopped, the headaches were awful and almost constant. So, it is a double edged sword. I'll take it knowing we are going in the right direction, though!!
Spring break doesn't typically mean much to me in my world, but this is the first year that Gregory has had the opportunity to experience his break from school. We decided that we would try to do things fun with both children instead of putting Gregory in daycare for the week. We headed down to my parents' home on the river after getting all of the Easter Bunny goodies Sunday morning.
I have been working each morning for a few hours but have tried to spend time as a family in the afternoon. We have played outside, Jacob has taken the kids to playgrounds and on nature walks, we went on a boat ride (contemplated fishing, but I wasn't feeling that great), and just letting the kids be kids - getting dirty, playing with water guns, building forts in the woods, etc. It has been so nice.
Nothing was as amazing as today, though. My children have been so excited this week to be able to go home from Granny and Pop's house because we had planned cousin time today. Jacob and I headed down to Mosely to hang out with Dan (Jacob's brother) and Christen (Bethany's sister) and their two boys. The children played and played. They never tired of one another and there were no big meltdowns - it was so nice and relaxing. Us adults got to hang out and chat, talk pregnancy, etc. and it was more than I could ask for. I was nervous about going because I am so tired all of the time, but it worked out really well! I am so thankful that we got to share that time together and the kids were able to reconnect with their cousins that they have seen minimally since COVID started.
In addition to just a wonderful time, I came home with a cooler full of meals! We ate good tonight, thanks to Bethany's parents, have a few more nights of leftovers and also a delicious looking lasagna in the freezer for later when I'm still lazy! I can't explain how grateful I am for everyone's support of us during this time and a simple meal goes a long way for me (and for Jacob since he doesn't have to step in at the end of a long day).
While I am tired, my heart is full.
Exciting day! I took my last PIO (progesterone in oil) shot this morning, which means that I have been taking these every three days for about 9 weeks or so. I've given every single shot to myself and it hasn't been that bad at all. Thankfully, this go-round, I did not have any excessive bleeding from the site! I've been longing for the day that I could say this. Even though this was my "last shot," if for any reason something goes wrong with this pregnancy, this is not the last shot that Bethany and Phillip have to be parents. If I am realistic, anything can happen over the next 30ish weeks. I am constantly praying for the health of this little one as well as my own health and we while we won't give up, we are giving this little one the best shot we have to enter this world later this year.
We are making progress. That is what matters for now - one day at a time. One prayer at a time. Continuous praise. We are on our way!
Never did I think my life would revolve around poop. I suppose I have always taken for granted a consistent pooping regimen, even with my additional iron supplement over the last 20ish years. I have come to realize that my misery over the last several weeks directly correlates to the fact that I am not going to the bathroom for several days at a time. I have researched and reached out to Kim. While googling states that there are many safe methods to help use the bathroom, my nurse has basically said that I need to focus on water intake in addition to a fiber rich diet. She did not mention anything about supplements to help, which is frustrating, but she offered that the additional meds I am on also contribute to the issue. Apparently, in a normal pregnancy, constipation is common because when our bodies create more progesterone, it relaxes our intestinal muscles. With the extra progesterone, it only exacerbates the problem.
I am trying really hard to keep my yelling and lack of patience at bay when it comes to being constipated. Not pooping truly effects everything about my daily life and I am not a fun person to be around. The deed that used to take 1-2 minutes is now a painful, 20 minute exercise and it is just awful. Once I go, it is amazing how much better I feel, almost immediately!
Only a few more days of meds - the end is in sight! Until then, I am discontinuing my own iron supplement in hopes that will help and of course heeding the advice of additional fiber/juices/water.
And, like the title says it, poops are holy around here these days!!
It has been a big weekend around here! We had my best friend from college visit with her mom on the way back from the beach Friday afternoon, checked out a beautiful home, and then rounded out our Saturday for a sweet little gal's birthday party! With all of that, I am beat. When we got home last night, I felt like poop. Some days I feel great and others miserable, but even in the rough times, I am still so thrilled to be in this space.
When I went to the restroom last night, I noticed that I was spotting. On top of feeling awful, I was terrified. I tried not to panic and decided just to reassess in the morning to see if there was anymore bright red bleeding.
Now, on Easter Sunday, I am still exhausted and not feeling great. However, I am no longer bleeding which is a huge relief. There was really no further bright red bleeding last night, just residual from the little bit last night. Thank God. We've come so far and have even further to go, but I just want this one to continue. I hope that all of you also have a wonderful Easter, thanking God for each of the amazing blessings we are so lucky to have.
As if this time in our family's life wasn't crazy enough, Jacob and I are toying with the idea of moving. Why not? I guess it is the best time for me - no heaving lifting here! We are actually in a really good position to take advantage of large equity growth in our current home, a strong seller's market, and getting off of a main thoroughfare, searching for homes in neighborhoods where the kids roam a little more, hopefully with some neighbor friends!
My first thought was that this is the worst time that we could think about it as I don't want to add stress. I have come to the realization that the fact that we have no where we have to go and no timeline, this is probably the best time to look to keep additional stress at bay. As crazy as I am, if nothing comes through, we stay in this awesome house that I love so much and we have purged so much crap!!
