Back at the end of January, I was at 192.4. With my period(s), not the best nutrition, and being sick for a few days, I was nervous to do my real weight check for my chart with Shady Grove. Today was the day. Bethany and I made a few nutrition/exercise goals over the last week and I decided that I would have to make progress and do the work to be under the 190.
This morning, I was so excited to weigh in at the gym. The scale there said 185! Woohoo! The real test was going into the clinic, though, and using their scales. I planned my outfit - a slinky dress with boots that I would take off for weigh in. The lady had me stand backwards, which I didn't understand, but I did. I did not get to see it (I wanted to take a damned picture for my own pride reasons), I was told 185.8. So, I did it! While Dr. Nair said I just had to be under 190 once, suggesting I could then gain weight, I do not plan on it. I am going to continue to work hard to lose more weight prior to transfer. I can do it!
I'm not just losing weight, though, y'all! I am somewhat losing my mind! There are no meds I am on right now that could be the culprit. For instance, over the last seven years in going to see my dear friend, Ms. Clare, for scheduled visits, I have never once simply forgotten. Last night, I forgot. This is clearly on our family calendar on the fridge (and my work calendar). After I got the kids home from school, bathed, and sat down for supper, I saw the calendar. I was mortified! I called her daughter immediately and said I could be there as soon as Jacob got home. I am the luckiest person in the world that Ms. Clare's daughter didn't skip a beat and was not upset in any way. She told me to stay at home with my family and not to worry. While I am so thankful for her understanding, I still feel like I am losing it.
I imagine this will only get worse as the year moves forward. However, I will take my own shortcomings any day, all day, if it means I can help give Bethany and Phillip the beautiful baby they so deserve!
Wednesday, February 26, 2020
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
signed and delivered
Jacob and I met with our attorney this afternoon! The agreement was already hashed out with Bethany this weekend and thankfully there were no surprises. Everything we had already discussed and there were no concerns. Because we had to have a Notary sign with us, I really wanted to go and shake our attorney's hand. She has been so helpful via email throughout this and is charging us (B/P) next to nothing.
Our 10 minutes together was only a matter of signatures from all three of us. We were just going to do one set and she was going to tell us to leave, but I offered to drop them all off at B/P's lawyer before I went home. So, we got them done and I hand delivered them to their attorney! I do not know the way in which B/P have to sign, but we should be set in no time!
Our 10 minutes together was only a matter of signatures from all three of us. We were just going to do one set and she was going to tell us to leave, but I offered to drop them all off at B/P's lawyer before I went home. So, we got them done and I hand delivered them to their attorney! I do not know the way in which B/P have to sign, but we should be set in no time!
Monday, February 24, 2020
breaking through
We still have not received a schedule or timeline for medications and/or transfer. It continues to be a waiting game. All I know at this point is that I should continue to only take my active birth control pills (skipping the placebos) to best prepare my body for transfer.
As most of us understand, skipping the placebos and going right into a new month's hormone pills typically should suppress a period. Last week, I started bleeding a little bit and asked Bethany to call. I wasn't sure what to do or if we should let the nurse know. The last thing I wanted was to divulge something that may make it harder on the process. The bleeding was very sparse and went away within a few hours. I opted not to reach out to the nurse.
Today, I started bleeding again, with much more force than before. Since this was the second time and the fact that it seemed to be flowing stronger than previously, I knew I had to mention it to the nurse. I asked the nurse to give me a call and when she did, I got right to the point. I was scared as to what she was going to say and when the words came out of her mouth "oh, that is breakthrough bleeding and it is completely normal," I felt a huge sense of relief. I was told to keep taking the medicine as directed, foregoing any placebo and that if I bleed, everything is okay. Additionally, should the flow continue and it turns into a period, that is okay too.
It is the little things that I never would have worried about before that make me think twice on this journey. Everything about my body and my health is a "what if" these days. I struggle with keeping things to myself or inquiring because I do not want anything to jeopardize how far we have come. Just more of that roller coaster, I suppose. The good thing is that the twists aren't too bad - it is more of a head game for me now.
As most of us understand, skipping the placebos and going right into a new month's hormone pills typically should suppress a period. Last week, I started bleeding a little bit and asked Bethany to call. I wasn't sure what to do or if we should let the nurse know. The last thing I wanted was to divulge something that may make it harder on the process. The bleeding was very sparse and went away within a few hours. I opted not to reach out to the nurse.
Today, I started bleeding again, with much more force than before. Since this was the second time and the fact that it seemed to be flowing stronger than previously, I knew I had to mention it to the nurse. I asked the nurse to give me a call and when she did, I got right to the point. I was scared as to what she was going to say and when the words came out of her mouth "oh, that is breakthrough bleeding and it is completely normal," I felt a huge sense of relief. I was told to keep taking the medicine as directed, foregoing any placebo and that if I bleed, everything is okay. Additionally, should the flow continue and it turns into a period, that is okay too.
It is the little things that I never would have worried about before that make me think twice on this journey. Everything about my body and my health is a "what if" these days. I struggle with keeping things to myself or inquiring because I do not want anything to jeopardize how far we have come. Just more of that roller coaster, I suppose. The good thing is that the twists aren't too bad - it is more of a head game for me now.
Sunday, February 23, 2020
support at work
I had an interesting call this past Friday with my counterpart at work. He mentioned that our boss was worried about me and my well being, as it relates to this journey and work. They both know that I put in a lot more effort than expected to keep it all together. Unfortunately, our team is down two individuals and between three of us and our leader we manage to pick up all of the slack. It doesn't bother me, I step up when necessary. That said, everyone has been noticing my additional stress and hours at work.
Both my counterpart and my leader know conception can be thwarted via stress. They also know that I am going to be more tired and out of the office for necessary appointments over the coming year. They are extremely supportive and want me to start finding a better work/life integration now if at all possible because they don't want work to contribute to additional stress in my life.
When I was first approached, I was a little frustrated that my boss didn't directly come to me, but my counterpart and I have like a sibling relationship so she wanted to filter it through him first.
This shows me so many things. I am beyond valued at work. My leader and my colleagues know that I work hard to get it all done and see that I go above and beyond in most situations. They all support me wholeheartedly in this journey. Only my direct team and a couple other centers of influence are aware of this journey when it comes to my place of work. Since day one, they all have been nothing but supportive and have offered to help with work at any time I need to be away from my desk. My colleagues care. We often get so overwhelmed with everything we have on our plates. It is nice to know that our relationships go beyond the office and each of them values me as much of as an individual as they do for my work abilities.
I am humbled. I am thankful. We all get stressed and have issues at work, but above all, I am valued, I am supported, and I am cared about.
Both my counterpart and my leader know conception can be thwarted via stress. They also know that I am going to be more tired and out of the office for necessary appointments over the coming year. They are extremely supportive and want me to start finding a better work/life integration now if at all possible because they don't want work to contribute to additional stress in my life.
When I was first approached, I was a little frustrated that my boss didn't directly come to me, but my counterpart and I have like a sibling relationship so she wanted to filter it through him first.
This shows me so many things. I am beyond valued at work. My leader and my colleagues know that I work hard to get it all done and see that I go above and beyond in most situations. They all support me wholeheartedly in this journey. Only my direct team and a couple other centers of influence are aware of this journey when it comes to my place of work. Since day one, they all have been nothing but supportive and have offered to help with work at any time I need to be away from my desk. My colleagues care. We often get so overwhelmed with everything we have on our plates. It is nice to know that our relationships go beyond the office and each of them values me as much of as an individual as they do for my work abilities.
I am humbled. I am thankful. We all get stressed and have issues at work, but above all, I am valued, I am supported, and I am cared about.
Saturday, February 22, 2020
so much legalese
The time has come. Things have been real for quite some time, but are now coming to fruition. All four of us signed the Gestational Carrier contract for SGF yesterday. 15 pages of things that we already knew (addressing potential risks, etc.). I would say that it would have been helpful to see that at the beginning to get a real understanding of the overall undertaking rather than putting it together in bits and pieces when asking for more info.
Bethany and Phillip are in the process of reviewing the fifty (50!) page legal contract between the two of us that was drafted over the last several weeks. So far they say it is what we had already discussed, but they have to do their due diligence and read every word. I get it and I will do the same. The good thing is that they do not have to send their redline right back to their attorney, I can review, create my own redlines and respond to accept or discuss the ones they proposed. This will cut down on a lot of the legal costs and is encouraged. The GC contract, which oftentimes costs around $1000, we are trying to keep to about $100 by having everything hashed out and simply sending it over for final review and signature.
The nurse finally reached out yesterday, too. The four medicines I have to take as this process moves forward will be delivered today (Lupron, Estrace, Progesterone in oil and Endometrin). I am curious to know how much all of this costs - the pharmacy said when they got off the phone with me, they were calling Bethany for payment. Ugh, I cannot imagine what this will set them back. Also, we got word that right now we (all of the recipients of this one egg donor) are only waiting on one recipient to start their menses and then we are good to go. Once that happens, everyone will get a timeline and have more of an idea of date of transfer.
As impatient as I have always been, I am a bit nervous now. Antsy but happier than ever!
Bethany and Phillip are in the process of reviewing the fifty (50!) page legal contract between the two of us that was drafted over the last several weeks. So far they say it is what we had already discussed, but they have to do their due diligence and read every word. I get it and I will do the same. The good thing is that they do not have to send their redline right back to their attorney, I can review, create my own redlines and respond to accept or discuss the ones they proposed. This will cut down on a lot of the legal costs and is encouraged. The GC contract, which oftentimes costs around $1000, we are trying to keep to about $100 by having everything hashed out and simply sending it over for final review and signature.
The nurse finally reached out yesterday, too. The four medicines I have to take as this process moves forward will be delivered today (Lupron, Estrace, Progesterone in oil and Endometrin). I am curious to know how much all of this costs - the pharmacy said when they got off the phone with me, they were calling Bethany for payment. Ugh, I cannot imagine what this will set them back. Also, we got word that right now we (all of the recipients of this one egg donor) are only waiting on one recipient to start their menses and then we are good to go. Once that happens, everyone will get a timeline and have more of an idea of date of transfer.
As impatient as I have always been, I am a bit nervous now. Antsy but happier than ever!
Thursday, February 20, 2020
simple acknowledgement
Last night our family had the bittersweet opportunity to support Nana and her boyfriend (that we adore) at the funeral home while his family accepted friends to share condolences for his mother’s passing. I took the chance of getting out to dress nicely (the ladies at day care pretty much know that when I am in a dress, it is funeral related). With a little make up, a dress I had gotten over the holidays and a pair of boots, I felt confidence I’m not sure I have ever experienced.
Everyone there was lovely. Nana took me around to all of the family and introduced us. She mentioned how great I looked but I brushed it off. So many people mention the weight loss now, but I sometimes fail to recognize it myself and I take their words as just the nice and proper thing to say.
When I woke up this morning, I had the most kind message from Nana that explicitly said “ I was so proud and happy to introduce you, Jake, and my incredibly beautiful grands to everyone. And you look absolutely amazing.” I had to read that second sentence many times and let it sink in. Life is good, we are happy, and I’m the healthiest I have ever been. I have this journey to thank for that.
Also, a few weeks ago, I was caught off guard by an out of the blue message that made my day. One of my oldest friends from growing up, with whom I’m not super close to anyone (but it is safe to say that if either of us needed anything, the other would be there in a heartbeat) reached out to me with this... “I hope you’re doing well today! I am so proud to know you!” Again such a humbling statement and one that put everything into perspective. I guess I’m more proud to be her friend.
It is little, unsolicited gestures that really make an impact. I challenge each of you (and myself) to do the same more often. We never know the smiles we can create on a whim with a few simple words.
Everyone there was lovely. Nana took me around to all of the family and introduced us. She mentioned how great I looked but I brushed it off. So many people mention the weight loss now, but I sometimes fail to recognize it myself and I take their words as just the nice and proper thing to say.
When I woke up this morning, I had the most kind message from Nana that explicitly said “ I was so proud and happy to introduce you, Jake, and my incredibly beautiful grands to everyone. And you look absolutely amazing.” I had to read that second sentence many times and let it sink in. Life is good, we are happy, and I’m the healthiest I have ever been. I have this journey to thank for that.
Also, a few weeks ago, I was caught off guard by an out of the blue message that made my day. One of my oldest friends from growing up, with whom I’m not super close to anyone (but it is safe to say that if either of us needed anything, the other would be there in a heartbeat) reached out to me with this... “I hope you’re doing well today! I am so proud to know you!” Again such a humbling statement and one that put everything into perspective. I guess I’m more proud to be her friend.
It is little, unsolicited gestures that really make an impact. I challenge each of you (and myself) to do the same more often. We never know the smiles we can create on a whim with a few simple words.
Tuesday, February 18, 2020
matching complete
Good news received today!
The matching person at SGF reached out to B/P to say that the matching process has been completed!
Congratulations! I wanted to inform you that your match with shared SGF donor # 0217-16, in the 1:3 program, is now complete. You will be the Secondary recipient in this match.
Patients selecting an egg donor in the shared programs are assigned a position once the match is complete: primary, secondary or tertiary. For example, in the 1:2 and 1:3 shared programs, position assignments are determined based on the following criteria:
• Previous IVF and/or attempted donor egg cycles at Shady Grove Fertility
• History with Shady Grove Fertility (duration)
• The timing of the donor selection (if all other criteria are equal)
If there are a sufficient number of eggs retrieved to allow each recipient to receive at least four mature eggs, then all recipients will continue with the cycle. If, however, there are insufficient eggs produced, the first recipient has priority over the second, and the second over the third.
I will be notifying the team that your match is now complete. Your nurse will be in communication with you in the next week to outline the next steps in preparation for your cycle.
Best wishes for a successful cycle!
This means we are on track to go! I expect to receive an email from our nurse later this week (she is off on Wednesdays) to outline our specific next steps. From what I understand, they first reach out to the donor and get her cycle schedule and then determine the carriers' schedules from there. I am so excited and actually a little nervous. All of this hard work is coming to fruition!!
The matching person at SGF reached out to B/P to say that the matching process has been completed!
Congratulations! I wanted to inform you that your match with shared SGF donor # 0217-16, in the 1:3 program, is now complete. You will be the Secondary recipient in this match.
Patients selecting an egg donor in the shared programs are assigned a position once the match is complete: primary, secondary or tertiary. For example, in the 1:2 and 1:3 shared programs, position assignments are determined based on the following criteria:
• Previous IVF and/or attempted donor egg cycles at Shady Grove Fertility
• History with Shady Grove Fertility (duration)
• The timing of the donor selection (if all other criteria are equal)
If there are a sufficient number of eggs retrieved to allow each recipient to receive at least four mature eggs, then all recipients will continue with the cycle. If, however, there are insufficient eggs produced, the first recipient has priority over the second, and the second over the third.
I will be notifying the team that your match is now complete. Your nurse will be in communication with you in the next week to outline the next steps in preparation for your cycle.
Best wishes for a successful cycle!
Saturday, February 15, 2020
matching misconception
I have been super confused about the donor egg match and have been understanding a little more this week. I thought it may help others if I tried to explain what I have learned.
When B/P chose a donor that only needed one match to be complete, I thought, this is it! Now we get the show on the road. I assumed that we all just needed to be put on meds and the process gets underway. Not so. What I didn't understand was that there was so much more that needed to happen before SGF even reached out to the donor to let her know she was matched and ready to go.
First, the other two sets of donors have to get their genetic counseling done to ensure that anything the donor has is matched with the sperm of the intended parent (or again a donor). Based on what the sperm may carry, it is necessary to see the two side by side. I am assuming that since the donor had not been fully matched, there was no urgency for one set of intended parents to get their counseling done. We have learned that they have their appointment to proceed Thursday. I do not know when we will get an answer and start the process, but what I have learned is that the IPs will have an opportunity to review everything. It is possible that once the answers are on paper, the IPs may actually back out of that donor if they notice any concerns. What I do not know is what happens when the match at that point. Must all wait for another set of IPs to sign up? Who knows!
The good thing about B/P choosing their previous donor is that they did not have to go back through the genetic counseling. They are already aware of the details of Phillip's sperm and this specific donor's DNA. If nothing else, it is still a waiting game, but one where B/P didn't have to worry about more appointments and decisions!
As impatient as I am, I have been super busy with work, exhausted, and under the weather this week. Everything happens for a reason and I am going to ride this roller coaster regardless of the speed and turns until we get that smooth landing back at the gate!
When B/P chose a donor that only needed one match to be complete, I thought, this is it! Now we get the show on the road. I assumed that we all just needed to be put on meds and the process gets underway. Not so. What I didn't understand was that there was so much more that needed to happen before SGF even reached out to the donor to let her know she was matched and ready to go.
First, the other two sets of donors have to get their genetic counseling done to ensure that anything the donor has is matched with the sperm of the intended parent (or again a donor). Based on what the sperm may carry, it is necessary to see the two side by side. I am assuming that since the donor had not been fully matched, there was no urgency for one set of intended parents to get their counseling done. We have learned that they have their appointment to proceed Thursday. I do not know when we will get an answer and start the process, but what I have learned is that the IPs will have an opportunity to review everything. It is possible that once the answers are on paper, the IPs may actually back out of that donor if they notice any concerns. What I do not know is what happens when the match at that point. Must all wait for another set of IPs to sign up? Who knows!
The good thing about B/P choosing their previous donor is that they did not have to go back through the genetic counseling. They are already aware of the details of Phillip's sperm and this specific donor's DNA. If nothing else, it is still a waiting game, but one where B/P didn't have to worry about more appointments and decisions!
As impatient as I am, I have been super busy with work, exhausted, and under the weather this week. Everything happens for a reason and I am going to ride this roller coaster regardless of the speed and turns until we get that smooth landing back at the gate!
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
no disappointment
I was like a child on Christmas and there was absolutely nothing that could keep me off my high the entire weekend.
Everyone was able to come with the exception of Jacob's brother, who we missed dearly, but he was off selling houses - kicking ass and taking names in the real estate world!
My grandfather, per normal, showed up about 45 minutes early when I was getting ready. When I came downstairs he was quick to find his coat to show me something. He pulled out the thank you card he had received from Bethany and Phillip. We both had tears as I read their thoughtful and loving message. He was so excited to meet them!
Bethany and Phillip showed up with a huge basket of things to try for nutrition purposes, focusing on protein and a more organic diet. So much of this mirrored some of my favorites, just in a healthier way. Within a few minutes, all of our parents had arrived. We chatted and introduced everyone. Brunch was ready so we all held hands in a circle while Steve blessed the meal and Bethany and Phillip also shared a few words. Again, I don't think there was a dry eye. So many of us hugged and the feast and fellowship ensued.
All of us chatted as if we had known each other for years. It meant the world to me to have their families meet my parents and grandfather. My parents, still a little concerned about me throughout all of this, have never wavered their support. I think that by them seeing the support from everyone else, who also shared their thoughts that my health was of utmost importance helped to ease their minds.
One of my sweetest memories will always be Meade sitting with "Aunt Bethany." Together they chatted, took selfies, played with her unicorn, and it just felt right. I didn't want the time to end, but we all had our separate ways to go. I still have yet to upload any pictures from my real camera, but Bethany sent me this one and it makes me smile every time!
Everyone was able to come with the exception of Jacob's brother, who we missed dearly, but he was off selling houses - kicking ass and taking names in the real estate world!
My grandfather, per normal, showed up about 45 minutes early when I was getting ready. When I came downstairs he was quick to find his coat to show me something. He pulled out the thank you card he had received from Bethany and Phillip. We both had tears as I read their thoughtful and loving message. He was so excited to meet them!
Bethany and Phillip showed up with a huge basket of things to try for nutrition purposes, focusing on protein and a more organic diet. So much of this mirrored some of my favorites, just in a healthier way. Within a few minutes, all of our parents had arrived. We chatted and introduced everyone. Brunch was ready so we all held hands in a circle while Steve blessed the meal and Bethany and Phillip also shared a few words. Again, I don't think there was a dry eye. So many of us hugged and the feast and fellowship ensued.
All of us chatted as if we had known each other for years. It meant the world to me to have their families meet my parents and grandfather. My parents, still a little concerned about me throughout all of this, have never wavered their support. I think that by them seeing the support from everyone else, who also shared their thoughts that my health was of utmost importance helped to ease their minds.
One of my sweetest memories will always be Meade sitting with "Aunt Bethany." Together they chatted, took selfies, played with her unicorn, and it just felt right. I didn't want the time to end, but we all had our separate ways to go. I still have yet to upload any pictures from my real camera, but Bethany sent me this one and it makes me smile every time!
Saturday, February 8, 2020
like a kid on Christmas
Well, today is a day I have been looking forward to for months. We have gotten past so many hurdles and are on our way to creating and carrying this sweet baby. Today we will celebrate a little, together. Bethany and Phillip's parents, as well as mine and Jacob's mom, with my grandfather and Bethany's sister and her boys will be coming over today for a little brunch. I am so excited for everyone to meet and I always jump at the opportunity to entertain.
Today will be the first of many, many sweet moments to cherish for the rest of our lives.
Today will be the first of many, many sweet moments to cherish for the rest of our lives.
Friday, February 7, 2020
my new friend
For quite some time, I have known of an acquaintance at the gym that had a child via surrogacy. When we started down the path of exploration, I stopped her at the gym and asked a few questions. She was quick to say that she did not have a surrogate but instead a gestational carrier. Perfect - that is what we were looking at. I asked if she could reach out to that person to see if I could pick their brain a little.
Fast forward 5 months, I was given her name and told to reach out to her. So, I did. This sweet lady, Ilene, was so very welcoming and willing to share anything and everything! We were supposed to meet over lunch and instead she invited me to her home since her son wasn't feeling well. Also, she wanted to be able to be in an environment where she could share anything and everything I wanted to know.
I guess I was a little nervous, but Ilene was an open book from the moment I pulled up in front of her house. She ushered me in and just started talking. She informed me of her intended parents' journey before she got involved and gave absolutely all of the details throughout the transfer and pregnancy. Pretty much everything went without a hitch. To this day, she says it is one of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences she has ever had.
So many things are similar yet different in our story that is being written. I loved to hear Ilene's passion about each step of the way. She was able to provide pointers to think about and shared so much of the beautiful relationships that have lasted since this child was born 7.5 years ago.
Ilene delivered at MRMC in which the operating room was very small. Only she and her husband were allowed in the operating room. Ilene made it clear that she didn't to know the surprise sex of the baby because it wasn't about her and it wasn't her child. She said she told the nurses to whisk the baby away and get him to meet his parents ASAP. This is selfless love. I am hoping that our experience at VCU will be a little different in that we can all be in the operating room but only time will tell. In fact, I have the contact for the social worker there and need to reach out to her, just don't want to do it too preemptively.
The entire hour we were together was lovely. What resonated the most with me is that of the baby's belly button. The belly button of that sweet boy was the only thing that she created and the only thing I will create for Bethany and Phillip's baby. I had never thought about it like that. I think that will be a sweet little belly button I will cherish for all time - I can't wait to see it and give it a little kiss.
I am beyond thankful for my time with Ilene and her utmost transparency. I hope and pray for a smooth journey like she had with the most precious ending!
Fast forward 5 months, I was given her name and told to reach out to her. So, I did. This sweet lady, Ilene, was so very welcoming and willing to share anything and everything! We were supposed to meet over lunch and instead she invited me to her home since her son wasn't feeling well. Also, she wanted to be able to be in an environment where she could share anything and everything I wanted to know.
I guess I was a little nervous, but Ilene was an open book from the moment I pulled up in front of her house. She ushered me in and just started talking. She informed me of her intended parents' journey before she got involved and gave absolutely all of the details throughout the transfer and pregnancy. Pretty much everything went without a hitch. To this day, she says it is one of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences she has ever had.
So many things are similar yet different in our story that is being written. I loved to hear Ilene's passion about each step of the way. She was able to provide pointers to think about and shared so much of the beautiful relationships that have lasted since this child was born 7.5 years ago.
Ilene delivered at MRMC in which the operating room was very small. Only she and her husband were allowed in the operating room. Ilene made it clear that she didn't to know the surprise sex of the baby because it wasn't about her and it wasn't her child. She said she told the nurses to whisk the baby away and get him to meet his parents ASAP. This is selfless love. I am hoping that our experience at VCU will be a little different in that we can all be in the operating room but only time will tell. In fact, I have the contact for the social worker there and need to reach out to her, just don't want to do it too preemptively.
The entire hour we were together was lovely. What resonated the most with me is that of the baby's belly button. The belly button of that sweet boy was the only thing that she created and the only thing I will create for Bethany and Phillip's baby. I had never thought about it like that. I think that will be a sweet little belly button I will cherish for all time - I can't wait to see it and give it a little kiss.
I am beyond thankful for my time with Ilene and her utmost transparency. I hope and pray for a smooth journey like she had with the most precious ending!
Sunday, February 2, 2020
here we go!
Oh my gosh, what a whirlwind it has been these last few days! As I listen to the Super Bowl in the other room, I cannot believe we are here and I am writing this. This journey has been difficult but I wouldn't change anything. I have had time to reflect and learn so much about myself while becoming great friends with Bethany and Phillip.
So, why is this a big post? You know we got approved to proceed, which is AMAZING! Still have those 3 (well, 2.4) pounds to lose, but I'm not worried about that - I got it! Tonight, B/P shared that they chose their donor! Why is this so huge - because that means we are set to jump right in and figure out the med schedules and when approximate transfer will be! The best part about all of this is that the donor they chose was already matched with two sets of intended parents. This means that with Bethany and Phillip being the third, there is no waiting for other couples to jump on the bandwagon.
Even sweeter is the donor that was chosen. This gal, who has many of the same physical characteristics of Bethany is the person that they chose to get eggs from when they tried their own round of IVF. When they started looking back at the profiles a few weeks ago, they were overjoyed to see that she was available again. When they looked again last week, she was still out there, but still had zero matches. Yesterday they took another look and she had TWO sets of intended parents matched, only needing a third to proceed! What?! God works in mysterious ways, for sure!
Me, being the super impatient one, was stopped in my tracks. Holy shit, this is happening, this is really happening! There is no we have to wait for other matches before we proceed. There is no waiting a month just in case no one else chooses the same donor. "The art of waiting" is behind us for now. For now. Once we get pregnant, those 40 weeks are another stress and waiting game.
So, I expect a call from Stephanie today to tell me where to go with my meds since I am on day 3 of my period. At that time, I will see if she has any idea of a timeline since the donor has been chosen. Is it crazy that the person that wanted this done yesterday is now super nervous because everything is coming to fruition? Crazy, maybe. I'm just that complicated.
So, why is this a big post? You know we got approved to proceed, which is AMAZING! Still have those 3 (well, 2.4) pounds to lose, but I'm not worried about that - I got it! Tonight, B/P shared that they chose their donor! Why is this so huge - because that means we are set to jump right in and figure out the med schedules and when approximate transfer will be! The best part about all of this is that the donor they chose was already matched with two sets of intended parents. This means that with Bethany and Phillip being the third, there is no waiting for other couples to jump on the bandwagon.
Even sweeter is the donor that was chosen. This gal, who has many of the same physical characteristics of Bethany is the person that they chose to get eggs from when they tried their own round of IVF. When they started looking back at the profiles a few weeks ago, they were overjoyed to see that she was available again. When they looked again last week, she was still out there, but still had zero matches. Yesterday they took another look and she had TWO sets of intended parents matched, only needing a third to proceed! What?! God works in mysterious ways, for sure!
Me, being the super impatient one, was stopped in my tracks. Holy shit, this is happening, this is really happening! There is no we have to wait for other matches before we proceed. There is no waiting a month just in case no one else chooses the same donor. "The art of waiting" is behind us for now. For now. Once we get pregnant, those 40 weeks are another stress and waiting game.
So, I expect a call from Stephanie today to tell me where to go with my meds since I am on day 3 of my period. At that time, I will see if she has any idea of a timeline since the donor has been chosen. Is it crazy that the person that wanted this done yesterday is now super nervous because everything is coming to fruition? Crazy, maybe. I'm just that complicated.
Saturday, February 1, 2020
progesterone
Yesterday morning, I got the amazing opportunity to speak with our nurse at SGF. I just had random questions about the progesterone level, since mine was higher than it should have been at that point in my cycle. Beyond Stephanie being so willing to chat, she also shared her own experience of IVF many years ago, also with Dr. Nair. It was so nice that we were being directed and guided by someone who had been in our shoes at one point.
For someone that is not ovulating, the level should be less than .4. My level was 8.1. Why is my level so high? Basically, my body has already begun to make its own progesterone, preparing for ovulation, suggesting my period should start soon. (Well, this morning, it did). Most women have 28 day cycles. I can say that my body is a little funky. After getting the IUD removed in November, immediately starting birth control, and then being taken off the birth control, I am a little out of whack, and that can be expected. I asked Stephanie if I had to start having 28 day "normal" cycles before we start and she said with assurance - nope, before your body has time to get back to normal, you will be pregnant. Music to my ears. I feel the same way!
So, where do we go from here? In order to ensure that my progesterone levels are right for transfer, the Lupron needs to be administered a few weeks before the hormone shots for transfer. This will essentially put my body into a "mini menopause" in which it does not create its own progesterone. I have sent Stephanie an email to let her know my period started and will call Monday to follow up. I believe we will start birth control again on day 3-4 of this cycle and continue to stay on it until we are ready to prepare for transfer. Should we not be ready for transfer prior to the three weeks being up, I will skip the placebo pills and go straight into the new month.
When all is ready for transfer to be scheduled, we will set a plan to discontinue the birth control. Three days prior to that discontinuation, I will start Lupron injections. I have been told that these are super easy, like insulin shots to the belly - so very small needle and minimal pain. I will also get blood work taken for baseline levels. Then, when directed, I will begin the estrogen shots (the oil into muscular tissue - my bottom or thigh). These are the ones known to burn and hurt a good bit. Once directed, I will stop the Lupron and start progesterone via vaginal suppositories. The estrogen shots will be every third day and the suppositories will be two tablets twice a day. Of course, the wonderful thing about Stephanie is that she will email me a schedule so I don't skip a beat!
A few other notes:
Bethany submitted a grant application to one of the fertility organizations! I'm praying they select her application for further review and eventually chose her and Phillip as recipients - wouldn't that be amazing! Their gofundme is still out there at over 25K raised so far! While amazing, this is less than half of the out of pocket expenses they will incur. If it is in your heart and budget, please consider making a donation.
My grandfather called me Thursday night crying. He said he got the most beautiful thank you note from Bethany and Phillip in the mail. He has said from the beginning that this is the best thing I could ever do for someone and continually asks about how it all is going. I told him that he would get the opportunity to meet Bethany and Phillip soon. He perked up and asked when. I told him I wasn't sure yet but we would make it happen. Bless his heart, he is fully invested here, too, and we all know that his donation has made a difference and an impact.
For someone that is not ovulating, the level should be less than .4. My level was 8.1. Why is my level so high? Basically, my body has already begun to make its own progesterone, preparing for ovulation, suggesting my period should start soon. (Well, this morning, it did). Most women have 28 day cycles. I can say that my body is a little funky. After getting the IUD removed in November, immediately starting birth control, and then being taken off the birth control, I am a little out of whack, and that can be expected. I asked Stephanie if I had to start having 28 day "normal" cycles before we start and she said with assurance - nope, before your body has time to get back to normal, you will be pregnant. Music to my ears. I feel the same way!
So, where do we go from here? In order to ensure that my progesterone levels are right for transfer, the Lupron needs to be administered a few weeks before the hormone shots for transfer. This will essentially put my body into a "mini menopause" in which it does not create its own progesterone. I have sent Stephanie an email to let her know my period started and will call Monday to follow up. I believe we will start birth control again on day 3-4 of this cycle and continue to stay on it until we are ready to prepare for transfer. Should we not be ready for transfer prior to the three weeks being up, I will skip the placebo pills and go straight into the new month.
When all is ready for transfer to be scheduled, we will set a plan to discontinue the birth control. Three days prior to that discontinuation, I will start Lupron injections. I have been told that these are super easy, like insulin shots to the belly - so very small needle and minimal pain. I will also get blood work taken for baseline levels. Then, when directed, I will begin the estrogen shots (the oil into muscular tissue - my bottom or thigh). These are the ones known to burn and hurt a good bit. Once directed, I will stop the Lupron and start progesterone via vaginal suppositories. The estrogen shots will be every third day and the suppositories will be two tablets twice a day. Of course, the wonderful thing about Stephanie is that she will email me a schedule so I don't skip a beat!
A few other notes:
Bethany submitted a grant application to one of the fertility organizations! I'm praying they select her application for further review and eventually chose her and Phillip as recipients - wouldn't that be amazing! Their gofundme is still out there at over 25K raised so far! While amazing, this is less than half of the out of pocket expenses they will incur. If it is in your heart and budget, please consider making a donation.
My grandfather called me Thursday night crying. He said he got the most beautiful thank you note from Bethany and Phillip in the mail. He has said from the beginning that this is the best thing I could ever do for someone and continually asks about how it all is going. I told him that he would get the opportunity to meet Bethany and Phillip soon. He perked up and asked when. I told him I wasn't sure yet but we would make it happen. Bless his heart, he is fully invested here, too, and we all know that his donation has made a difference and an impact.
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