here's to 37

It is hard to believe that today I turned 37.  Since this all began, my hope is that I would deliver a sweet baby in my 36th year.  Of course, it is not about my timing, but I am extremely hopeful for what 37 will bring, in His timing.  

While this year has been difficult to say the least, it has also been one of the most beautiful and rewarding ones.  Navigating this surrogacy journey and trying to find our new normal amidst COVID has not been easy.  I have learned so much about myself over the last year, cultivated the most beautiful relationships with Bethany and Phillip, and worked super hard to be the healthiest I have ever been in my life.  Throughout the challenges, it has all been more than worth it!  I managed to develop the utmost compassion for anyone going through infertility issues as well as those that may not face infertility but that go through a miscarriage.  I never put much thought into the turmoil that causes and while I didn't experience all of the emotional uproar, physically it was awful.

In recent years, I don't remember truly making wishes when I blew out my candles.  I probably haven't made a true (not material wish) in all of my life - until now.  Tonight, I wished for success in the transfer coming up and for all of our health along the way.  With my family surrounding me, I made this wish as the flame was extinguished.  I followed up with prayers for each of us walking this path together and going through it all with peace and understanding.

cleared to proceed

This morning, I had bloodwork and another ultrasound with Dr. Edelstien.  This is the man that was so very kind and thoughtful as he confirmed the miscarriage back in August.  It was nice to see him and be able to thank him for making a difficult day a little bit easier, just with words and body language that exuded compassion.

The ultrasound looked great - my lining is thin, where it should be.  There are a lot of follicles, but none of those are necessary in this endeavor.  Kim followed up with an email this afternoon to say that my bloodwork looks perfect too.  I will start the oral estrace today and decrease the lupron injections from 20 units to 5 units per day until my next scheduled bloodwork and ultrasound on the 5th.

For a little context, when we were at this appointment last time, my body was ovulating.  Due to that, I had to stay on the 20 units of lupron for a few extra days before starting the estrace.  To me, today's information makes it seem like we are doing even better than before!

planting seeds

 

I got Gregory off the bus today and this sweet card was in the mail today - for no reason at all.  This is why I am here, why I am writing, what gives me purpose.  I want to do good.  I want others to see it.  I want to make a difference in this world by being kind.  My mom simply saw this card, thought of me and put it in the mail.  I am so lucky to have come from such a wonderful family that taught me about doing for others and the impact it can make near and far.  As much as people think I am selfless on this journey, the do-gooder in me gets so much satisfaction from it all.  Now, to just make it all work and have Bethany and Phillip become parents is what will close the circle!

body shots

Even though I have been on the hormone pills for a few weeks, today I had my first injection of this cycle.  As it was last time around, it was easy and there were no issues!  Just a small needle to the belly!  Woohoo!  

Yesterday, I had a saline sonogram to ensure that my uterus sustained no damage from the miscarriage and to make certain that all of the conception material was in fact removed.  I got to meet with a new physician at SGF today and I really, really liked her.  She is the only female doctor at SGF in Richmond.  She was so open to talk and answer my questions (of course) and I hope I can schedule more of my follow ups with her in the future!

This is all shaping up to be right on track!

crickets

Please forgive me for my lack of updates lately.  There has not been much to tell and to be honest, I am having a difficult time keeping everything else in my life together.  My grandfather is ill and will be transitioning to hospice care soon.  We had a brief vacation as the result of travel to the eastern shore for my cousin Matt's wedding.  It was nice, but a little thwarted with Art's condition.  We are still on track for everything to go as planned for a November 13 transfer!  I actually thought that I was to start the Lupron injections today, but quickly realized that I do not start until Saturday.  See what I mean - I am clearly off!  

I am thankful that I will have this to focus on as my grandfather continues to decline and passes peacefully, as soon as possible, per his wishes and to ease the burden on all of us that will remain.  I don't think I have ever prayed so fervently in my life.  It is tough, but it is good.  This man has been a light in our lives for over 20 years and at the age of 90, he has so much to be proud of.  His time has come to be with "his Lord," just as he has asked.

angel baby

I thought I would let each of you know that we did get the genetic testing back from VCU regarding the conception material obtained from the MVA.  Here is what Dr. Nelson sent:

Julia,

Just wanted to let you know that the genetic test was normal. It did not reveal any chromosomal abnormalities.

Hope you are feeling well.

Amy

While it would have provided some answers to the miscarriage for abnormalities to be discovered, this is the best news.  There is no reason to believe that the remaining two frozen embryos have any issue!