a holiday weekend

Well, I had hoped to be thinking of laboring a baby during this time, not laboring conception material.  Now that I am feeling better, we made the most of it.  Some family friends came down to my parents Saturday and went out fishing with us – it was the best time!  Jacob and I brought the kids back home Sunday evening so that we could get all of the school preparation done today and try to resume our normal routine.  We took the kids on a nature walk this morning on the Pipeline Walkway and then Jacob took the kids to play tennis.  All in all, it was a great weekend in which I am just so damned thankful to be feeling better!

beyond nursing

Last night before I got in bed, I got a text from the nurse Lisa, just checking in to see how I felt.  I was baffled.  She reached out, well beyond normal business hours just to check in?  I couldn’t believe it.  I texted her back and let her know that I was doing wonderfully.  Minor cramping and bleeding, but I could live with that.  I don’t know what it was, but getting that little bit left out of my body did wonders for me.  It may have all been in my head, but I didn’t care – I took it and rolled with it.  Lisa followed up with the reminders of when to go to the ER and telling me to take care.  How amazing is that!?

oh catholicism

Disclaimer - both Bethany and I grew up in Catholic households so no disrespect here.  It is what it is.  Frankly, it is nice to make some sense of it but I am going to be ticked when the bill comes in!

When I spoke with Lisa earlier in the week and mentioned that if I was told to go to the ER for the extreme bleeding I had, why wasn’t anything done.  Lisa asked some questions and got right down to it – the light bulb went off.  I went to Memorial Regional, a Bon Secours facility – a Catholic organization.  The Catholic Church does not believe in abortions and technically a D&C is that, whether the baby is viable or not.  Now it made sense.  Further, now I know for the future.  Should we have to go through this heartache again and I experience the same, off to VCU I will go.

put a period on it

Today is the day I have been longing for since Sunday.  It is amazing how I wish my life away – I couldn’t wait for transfer, now I cannot wait for this.  Soon enough, I will be super impatient for the next transfer.  It goes on and on I suppose. 

The morning was our normal routine, however, I have taken the day off.  I did a few things for work and then called it a day.  I baked cookies and prepared a few things for a night away at my parents tonight.  Alison (my aunt and Godmother) was to come at 845 for the 940 appointment.  Alison was nervous to go in so I asked if she had to or if I just had to have someone drive me home.  That is all I needed.  I headed up to the Nelson Clinic and Alison went to her office to get some work done.

Once there, I had to fill out some additional paperwork and waited for a few minutes.  I put the Ativan in my cheek and started to get loopy.  Sandra, a sweet nurse, took me back and got my vitals.  In no time, I was in the procedure room accompanied by another wonderful nurse, Laurie.  A medical resident, Dr. Crutchfield came in and got some more information and explained to me the procedure that would take place.  Check out all of these items that I would soon have to endure!

Dr. Crutchfield returned with Laurie and Dr. Nelson (that was overseeing everything and doing the ultrasound (externally) to watch the procedure and ensure nothing was left behind.  It was pretty cool to see what they were doing.  As I figured I had passed everything – how could there be more? – I was shown that the gestational sac still remained.  The speculum was inserted, all was good.  Until I got the shot.  Holy shit did that shot of lidocaine into my uterus hurt like hell!  I tensed up and then my head started feeling strange.  I didn’t feel like I was going to pass out, but I asked if this was normal.  Dr. Nelson said that some people do feel the lidocaine in their head, which was strange, but not abnormal.  Also, she mentioned that many people get a metallic taste in their mouth.  How in the heck a shot in the uterus can make one taste something is beyond me, but oh well.  Then came another shot.  Thankfully, I didn’t feel that one.  The catheter was inserted and they were on my way for the MVA (Manual Vacuum Aspiration).  From what I have been told this is the procedure that is often given at Planned Parenthood for abortions.  I didn’t care.  We knew the embryo was no longer viable and I just wanted to feel better.  If this meant it was less time consuming and cheaper, I was all in. 

I asked a million questions and both doctors were more than willing to help me understand what was going on.  I love it when the clinicians welcome conversation to help educate dummies like me.  They were probably trying to keep me distracted, too.  Oh my gosh, then the pain started coming.  I begged them to stop, but they didn’t.  This was the vacuum getting all of the “conception material.”  The extreme pain literally only lasted 30 seconds or so but oh man did it hurt!  Then, they were done!  That was it?  I couldn’t believe it!  This is what they were able to remove.

From a conversation I had with Lisa yesterday, I learned that my insurance approved cytogenetic testing, which is great.  We will be able to understand from the conception material if there was any genetic abnormality with the embryo.  While I don’t think it will much matter with the two embryos that remain, it will be good to have the information, if there is any. 

I had to wait about 30 minutes for my vitals to be taken and then I was on my way.  I had texted my aunt and when I walked outside, she was on the corner waiting for me.  On the way back, I asked her to stop so I could get a diet coke and home I went!  I was still pretty loopy from the medicine so I laid down and took a little nap. 

I was told that if I bled more than 2 heavy pads an hour or had a fever of 100.4 (infection) I needed to get back to the ER.  More cramping and bleeding will be had over the next week or so and that is normal.

Jacob and I are on our way down to my parents house with the kids and frankly, I feel a ton better already!  Who knew?  If only I could have experienced this relief a little sooner.

prepping for the MVA

Lisa, a nurse from VCU called later this afternoon to go over my meds with me and ensure that I was ready for tomorrow.  She gave me the number to call when I got there so that the room was prepped and I would spend as little time as possible in the waiting area.  Tonight, I have to take antibiotics and nausea medicine to heed off any issues from the first meds.  Tomorrow, when I get there, I have to put an Ativan in my cheek and let that set in.  Also, Motrin was prescribed for pain afterwards.  I asked if I could take it proactively and Lisa said absolutely.  Crazily enough, Lisa also told me that the number she called on was her work cell phone and she will be there for any additional questions I have at any time.  This was really nice to know.

Jacob’s mother and her beau came over and brought supper to us.  It was so nice to have a fresh salad, delicious pizza and amazing brownies.  Most of all, it was nice to have the company.  I had to run out in the middle and grab Gregory from daycare (he had to stay late for the little ceremony that we could not attend).  Our village around here is so wonderful and Barbara has been more than supportive since day one.  I am so glad that we could get together and catch up!

So far, this evening has gone well.  As far as pain, it was minimal (with the exception of some crazy cramps earlier this afternoon) and the bleeding again not much until the evening – but nothing horrible.  We shall see what happens tomorrow! 

stepping back

I woke up with some pretty severe anxiety this morning.  I am not sure if it is because my parents aren’t here or if I am just over everything, probably a lot of both.  I am so hopeful for what tomorrow will bring but I think I’m nervous at the same time.  As I spent the morning preparing little gifts (the book I am Human) for Gregory and his classmates that are “graduating” from preschool tonight, I realized that I should not be so upset with the financial coordinator.  We all make mistakes and I need to take that into consideration.  Maybe instead of writing a letter to the manager, I should ask for a candid conversation to use as a learning opportunity verses her getting in trouble.  I wrote Kim an email and said just that.  After all – we are all human and we all make mistakes whether we admit it or not.  By the time Kim responded, she had mentioned that she had already forwarded my email to her manager and that she would be calling me before the end of the day.

I took a little break from work today to go and meet Gregory’s kindergarten teacher.  She was so delightful.  I really enjoyed her.  I think he will have a great year.  The distraction also helped a little bit on the anxiety front.  Back to work and back to the grind. 

Linda, the nurse manager did call me and express sincere apologies related to the frustrating situation with the financial coordinator.  I reiterated that maybe a quick conversation would be more impactful than her getting in trouble.  The manager said she would be happy to facilitate the conversation but asked that we wait until this week was over for me.  She happened to call right when I was cramping pretty bad and the Motrin had not yet kicked in.  I think I was out of breath from some of the pain and she seemed concerned, but I promised her I was okay.

overwhelming frustration

I must say that physically the day wasn’t so bad.  I am pretty much out of it.  Just plain exhausted.  Yes, there is cramping and bleeding but as long as it doesn’t get like Sunday or Monday nights I will be fine.  I put in a full work day again and waited for the financial coordinator to call.  I connected with Kim earlier in the day and asked if we had to wait any longer or if they could just put me on the schedule.  She noted that she had sent my insurance information to the scheduler in Richmond and that the D&C would have to be done at the hospital.  Beyond being billed by Shady Grove, my insurance would also be billed by the hospital’s anesthesiologist.  Who the hell cares?  Just get this shit out of me!  Kim was working with the scheduler to see if there was any way to get on the calendar for tomorrow.  Beyond the logistics, Kim was pissed that the coordinator continued to drop the ball.  It made me feel a little less needy knowing that I was not the only one getting really frustrated.  It was mentioned that the majority of the work that they do at SGF is time sensitive but a D&C is the most urgent to get scheduled and everyone knows that.

Mom and Dad again helped with the morning routine and also helped me get all of the trash to the dump (our truck is in the shop) and run an errand before my workday started at 730.  I took a “lunch” and we played some more ten thousand and then they headed home.  It was so sad to see them go, but I was so tired I wasn’t sure which end was up. 

 I was fit to be tied by the end of the day when again I had heard nothing from the financial coordinator.  In a rage of frustration, I emailed after the workday and let her know that I still had any communication from the coordinator and that I wanted to know who I should write a letter to.  We are all tired and out of our routine due to this mess, so tonight will definitely be an early night for each of us.  I guess it is safe to assume that since I haven’t heard of anything scheduled for tomorrow I will be waiting until Friday to get the evacuation done.  It will be okay – I have to keep telling myself that.