Sunday, March 1, 2020

it runs in the family

Several months ago, I informed one of my mom's cousins of this journey.  Her response was that we should never expect such altruism out of her, but that I came by it honestly.  She reminded me of when we were young and my mom decided to be a long term sub for one of her best friends growing up due to cancer treatment.  I went ahead and asked my mom about it - I remember it well, but didn't know all of the ins and outs.  Here's a glimpse into how we were raised:

Growing up, my mom had an across the street neighbor, Rosemary, in which they became great friends.  Even though their lives moved on beyond the neighborhood, they never lost contact.  They both became teachers - my mom in high school and Rosemary in elementary school.  When Katie was born, my mom stopped teaching and stayed at home.  As Ricky and I came along, it made sense for her to continue to stay home. 

Rosemary got sick.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer and was doing everything she could to keep her job and benefits as a teacher with Richmond City Public Schools.  When she needed to take extended leave, my mom offered to help.  The logistics were much easier back in the day and mom was able to sign a long-term substitute contract to take over Rosemary's classroom at Blackwell Elementary. 

What I remember about those days is that there was a class pet - a tarantula named "Goody."  I am terrified of spiders and I still cringe when I think of visiting that classroom and the damn spider.  What I did not know about that time was all that my mom was doing just to be kind.  As part of her contract with RCPS, mom accepted no salary.  Instead, she asked that Rosemary continue to be paid.  This was not an easy commute - she was driving from West Point to Richmond daily.  My dad had to also step in and help more at home with us kids as well as doing overtime to make up for the incidentals financially.  Mom said that before her time at Blackwell was up, Rosemary was subsidizing the gas and daycare costs for us at $10 a week.  That probably didn't even take care of the gas, much less what our neighbor in West Point was getting for watching us before and after school.

My mom has always been one of the most generous people I know.  I am thankful that I have inherited some of her traits that lead me to be more giving each day.  What she instilled in me at an early age is the personal satisfaction one gets from being the giver, instead of the receiver.  This still rings true today for me.  I would rather give that receive ten times over - and this really has nothing to do with financial items.  It is about giving the intangible things that are less thought of and sometimes cost nothing just to be kind. 

All of this goes to say that as my parents had their world turned upside down for a few months simply to help someone in need, they made it work and they did so with grace.  The village around us made sure that everything was fine on the home front and mom worked to help those students in a pretty awful spot of Richmond were learning. 

Villages are so important to have and I know that I could not survive without mine - on this journey or not.  The roads will not always be easy, but we will have each other.  I have grown closer to so many individuals because of the shared end goal and it is overwhelming - in the best way possible.  When all is said and done, I will have the utmost satisfaction in my heart that I have helped to create a family that is deserved beyond belief.  As much as it is about Bethany and Phillip, it is selfishly about me and that feeling of accomplishment that I will have for the rest of my life.

1 comment:

  1. So touched to hear this story; how very giving and kind of Marcy! I well know the generosity of parents...mine most certainly saved us in more ways than I can count when George was sick. And when someone would cite their selflessness, my sweet Dad would say, "Oh, but it's our privilege....."

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