Back at the end of January, I was at 192.4. With my period(s), not the best nutrition, and being sick for a few days, I was nervous to do my real weight check for my chart with Shady Grove. Today was the day. Bethany and I made a few nutrition/exercise goals over the last week and I decided that I would have to make progress and do the work to be under the 190.
This morning, I was so excited to weigh in at the gym. The scale there said 185! Woohoo! The real test was going into the clinic, though, and using their scales. I planned my outfit - a slinky dress with boots that I would take off for weigh in. The lady had me stand backwards, which I didn't understand, but I did. I did not get to see it (I wanted to take a damned picture for my own pride reasons), I was told 185.8. So, I did it! While Dr. Nair said I just had to be under 190 once, suggesting I could then gain weight, I do not plan on it. I am going to continue to work hard to lose more weight prior to transfer. I can do it!
I'm not just losing weight, though, y'all! I am somewhat losing my mind! There are no meds I am on right now that could be the culprit. For instance, over the last seven years in going to see my dear friend, Ms. Clare, for scheduled visits, I have never once simply forgotten. Last night, I forgot. This is clearly on our family calendar on the fridge (and my work calendar). After I got the kids home from school, bathed, and sat down for supper, I saw the calendar. I was mortified! I called her daughter immediately and said I could be there as soon as Jacob got home. I am the luckiest person in the world that Ms. Clare's daughter didn't skip a beat and was not upset in any way. She told me to stay at home with my family and not to worry. While I am so thankful for her understanding, I still feel like I am losing it.
I imagine this will only get worse as the year moves forward. However, I will take my own shortcomings any day, all day, if it means I can help give Bethany and Phillip the beautiful baby they so deserve!
Wednesday, February 26, 2020
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
signed and delivered
Jacob and I met with our attorney this afternoon! The agreement was already hashed out with Bethany this weekend and thankfully there were no surprises. Everything we had already discussed and there were no concerns. Because we had to have a Notary sign with us, I really wanted to go and shake our attorney's hand. She has been so helpful via email throughout this and is charging us (B/P) next to nothing.
Our 10 minutes together was only a matter of signatures from all three of us. We were just going to do one set and she was going to tell us to leave, but I offered to drop them all off at B/P's lawyer before I went home. So, we got them done and I hand delivered them to their attorney! I do not know the way in which B/P have to sign, but we should be set in no time!
Our 10 minutes together was only a matter of signatures from all three of us. We were just going to do one set and she was going to tell us to leave, but I offered to drop them all off at B/P's lawyer before I went home. So, we got them done and I hand delivered them to their attorney! I do not know the way in which B/P have to sign, but we should be set in no time!
Monday, February 24, 2020
breaking through
We still have not received a schedule or timeline for medications and/or transfer. It continues to be a waiting game. All I know at this point is that I should continue to only take my active birth control pills (skipping the placebos) to best prepare my body for transfer.
As most of us understand, skipping the placebos and going right into a new month's hormone pills typically should suppress a period. Last week, I started bleeding a little bit and asked Bethany to call. I wasn't sure what to do or if we should let the nurse know. The last thing I wanted was to divulge something that may make it harder on the process. The bleeding was very sparse and went away within a few hours. I opted not to reach out to the nurse.
Today, I started bleeding again, with much more force than before. Since this was the second time and the fact that it seemed to be flowing stronger than previously, I knew I had to mention it to the nurse. I asked the nurse to give me a call and when she did, I got right to the point. I was scared as to what she was going to say and when the words came out of her mouth "oh, that is breakthrough bleeding and it is completely normal," I felt a huge sense of relief. I was told to keep taking the medicine as directed, foregoing any placebo and that if I bleed, everything is okay. Additionally, should the flow continue and it turns into a period, that is okay too.
It is the little things that I never would have worried about before that make me think twice on this journey. Everything about my body and my health is a "what if" these days. I struggle with keeping things to myself or inquiring because I do not want anything to jeopardize how far we have come. Just more of that roller coaster, I suppose. The good thing is that the twists aren't too bad - it is more of a head game for me now.
As most of us understand, skipping the placebos and going right into a new month's hormone pills typically should suppress a period. Last week, I started bleeding a little bit and asked Bethany to call. I wasn't sure what to do or if we should let the nurse know. The last thing I wanted was to divulge something that may make it harder on the process. The bleeding was very sparse and went away within a few hours. I opted not to reach out to the nurse.
Today, I started bleeding again, with much more force than before. Since this was the second time and the fact that it seemed to be flowing stronger than previously, I knew I had to mention it to the nurse. I asked the nurse to give me a call and when she did, I got right to the point. I was scared as to what she was going to say and when the words came out of her mouth "oh, that is breakthrough bleeding and it is completely normal," I felt a huge sense of relief. I was told to keep taking the medicine as directed, foregoing any placebo and that if I bleed, everything is okay. Additionally, should the flow continue and it turns into a period, that is okay too.
It is the little things that I never would have worried about before that make me think twice on this journey. Everything about my body and my health is a "what if" these days. I struggle with keeping things to myself or inquiring because I do not want anything to jeopardize how far we have come. Just more of that roller coaster, I suppose. The good thing is that the twists aren't too bad - it is more of a head game for me now.
Sunday, February 23, 2020
support at work
I had an interesting call this past Friday with my counterpart at work. He mentioned that our boss was worried about me and my well being, as it relates to this journey and work. They both know that I put in a lot more effort than expected to keep it all together. Unfortunately, our team is down two individuals and between three of us and our leader we manage to pick up all of the slack. It doesn't bother me, I step up when necessary. That said, everyone has been noticing my additional stress and hours at work.
Both my counterpart and my leader know conception can be thwarted via stress. They also know that I am going to be more tired and out of the office for necessary appointments over the coming year. They are extremely supportive and want me to start finding a better work/life integration now if at all possible because they don't want work to contribute to additional stress in my life.
When I was first approached, I was a little frustrated that my boss didn't directly come to me, but my counterpart and I have like a sibling relationship so she wanted to filter it through him first.
This shows me so many things. I am beyond valued at work. My leader and my colleagues know that I work hard to get it all done and see that I go above and beyond in most situations. They all support me wholeheartedly in this journey. Only my direct team and a couple other centers of influence are aware of this journey when it comes to my place of work. Since day one, they all have been nothing but supportive and have offered to help with work at any time I need to be away from my desk. My colleagues care. We often get so overwhelmed with everything we have on our plates. It is nice to know that our relationships go beyond the office and each of them values me as much of as an individual as they do for my work abilities.
I am humbled. I am thankful. We all get stressed and have issues at work, but above all, I am valued, I am supported, and I am cared about.
Both my counterpart and my leader know conception can be thwarted via stress. They also know that I am going to be more tired and out of the office for necessary appointments over the coming year. They are extremely supportive and want me to start finding a better work/life integration now if at all possible because they don't want work to contribute to additional stress in my life.
When I was first approached, I was a little frustrated that my boss didn't directly come to me, but my counterpart and I have like a sibling relationship so she wanted to filter it through him first.
This shows me so many things. I am beyond valued at work. My leader and my colleagues know that I work hard to get it all done and see that I go above and beyond in most situations. They all support me wholeheartedly in this journey. Only my direct team and a couple other centers of influence are aware of this journey when it comes to my place of work. Since day one, they all have been nothing but supportive and have offered to help with work at any time I need to be away from my desk. My colleagues care. We often get so overwhelmed with everything we have on our plates. It is nice to know that our relationships go beyond the office and each of them values me as much of as an individual as they do for my work abilities.
I am humbled. I am thankful. We all get stressed and have issues at work, but above all, I am valued, I am supported, and I am cared about.
Saturday, February 22, 2020
so much legalese
The time has come. Things have been real for quite some time, but are now coming to fruition. All four of us signed the Gestational Carrier contract for SGF yesterday. 15 pages of things that we already knew (addressing potential risks, etc.). I would say that it would have been helpful to see that at the beginning to get a real understanding of the overall undertaking rather than putting it together in bits and pieces when asking for more info.
Bethany and Phillip are in the process of reviewing the fifty (50!) page legal contract between the two of us that was drafted over the last several weeks. So far they say it is what we had already discussed, but they have to do their due diligence and read every word. I get it and I will do the same. The good thing is that they do not have to send their redline right back to their attorney, I can review, create my own redlines and respond to accept or discuss the ones they proposed. This will cut down on a lot of the legal costs and is encouraged. The GC contract, which oftentimes costs around $1000, we are trying to keep to about $100 by having everything hashed out and simply sending it over for final review and signature.
The nurse finally reached out yesterday, too. The four medicines I have to take as this process moves forward will be delivered today (Lupron, Estrace, Progesterone in oil and Endometrin). I am curious to know how much all of this costs - the pharmacy said when they got off the phone with me, they were calling Bethany for payment. Ugh, I cannot imagine what this will set them back. Also, we got word that right now we (all of the recipients of this one egg donor) are only waiting on one recipient to start their menses and then we are good to go. Once that happens, everyone will get a timeline and have more of an idea of date of transfer.
As impatient as I have always been, I am a bit nervous now. Antsy but happier than ever!
Bethany and Phillip are in the process of reviewing the fifty (50!) page legal contract between the two of us that was drafted over the last several weeks. So far they say it is what we had already discussed, but they have to do their due diligence and read every word. I get it and I will do the same. The good thing is that they do not have to send their redline right back to their attorney, I can review, create my own redlines and respond to accept or discuss the ones they proposed. This will cut down on a lot of the legal costs and is encouraged. The GC contract, which oftentimes costs around $1000, we are trying to keep to about $100 by having everything hashed out and simply sending it over for final review and signature.
The nurse finally reached out yesterday, too. The four medicines I have to take as this process moves forward will be delivered today (Lupron, Estrace, Progesterone in oil and Endometrin). I am curious to know how much all of this costs - the pharmacy said when they got off the phone with me, they were calling Bethany for payment. Ugh, I cannot imagine what this will set them back. Also, we got word that right now we (all of the recipients of this one egg donor) are only waiting on one recipient to start their menses and then we are good to go. Once that happens, everyone will get a timeline and have more of an idea of date of transfer.
As impatient as I have always been, I am a bit nervous now. Antsy but happier than ever!
Thursday, February 20, 2020
simple acknowledgement
Last night our family had the bittersweet opportunity to support Nana and her boyfriend (that we adore) at the funeral home while his family accepted friends to share condolences for his mother’s passing. I took the chance of getting out to dress nicely (the ladies at day care pretty much know that when I am in a dress, it is funeral related). With a little make up, a dress I had gotten over the holidays and a pair of boots, I felt confidence I’m not sure I have ever experienced.
Everyone there was lovely. Nana took me around to all of the family and introduced us. She mentioned how great I looked but I brushed it off. So many people mention the weight loss now, but I sometimes fail to recognize it myself and I take their words as just the nice and proper thing to say.
When I woke up this morning, I had the most kind message from Nana that explicitly said “ I was so proud and happy to introduce you, Jake, and my incredibly beautiful grands to everyone. And you look absolutely amazing.” I had to read that second sentence many times and let it sink in. Life is good, we are happy, and I’m the healthiest I have ever been. I have this journey to thank for that.
Also, a few weeks ago, I was caught off guard by an out of the blue message that made my day. One of my oldest friends from growing up, with whom I’m not super close to anyone (but it is safe to say that if either of us needed anything, the other would be there in a heartbeat) reached out to me with this... “I hope you’re doing well today! I am so proud to know you!” Again such a humbling statement and one that put everything into perspective. I guess I’m more proud to be her friend.
It is little, unsolicited gestures that really make an impact. I challenge each of you (and myself) to do the same more often. We never know the smiles we can create on a whim with a few simple words.
Everyone there was lovely. Nana took me around to all of the family and introduced us. She mentioned how great I looked but I brushed it off. So many people mention the weight loss now, but I sometimes fail to recognize it myself and I take their words as just the nice and proper thing to say.
When I woke up this morning, I had the most kind message from Nana that explicitly said “ I was so proud and happy to introduce you, Jake, and my incredibly beautiful grands to everyone. And you look absolutely amazing.” I had to read that second sentence many times and let it sink in. Life is good, we are happy, and I’m the healthiest I have ever been. I have this journey to thank for that.
Also, a few weeks ago, I was caught off guard by an out of the blue message that made my day. One of my oldest friends from growing up, with whom I’m not super close to anyone (but it is safe to say that if either of us needed anything, the other would be there in a heartbeat) reached out to me with this... “I hope you’re doing well today! I am so proud to know you!” Again such a humbling statement and one that put everything into perspective. I guess I’m more proud to be her friend.
It is little, unsolicited gestures that really make an impact. I challenge each of you (and myself) to do the same more often. We never know the smiles we can create on a whim with a few simple words.
Tuesday, February 18, 2020
matching complete
Good news received today!
The matching person at SGF reached out to B/P to say that the matching process has been completed!
Congratulations! I wanted to inform you that your match with shared SGF donor # 0217-16, in the 1:3 program, is now complete. You will be the Secondary recipient in this match.
Patients selecting an egg donor in the shared programs are assigned a position once the match is complete: primary, secondary or tertiary. For example, in the 1:2 and 1:3 shared programs, position assignments are determined based on the following criteria:
• Previous IVF and/or attempted donor egg cycles at Shady Grove Fertility
• History with Shady Grove Fertility (duration)
• The timing of the donor selection (if all other criteria are equal)
If there are a sufficient number of eggs retrieved to allow each recipient to receive at least four mature eggs, then all recipients will continue with the cycle. If, however, there are insufficient eggs produced, the first recipient has priority over the second, and the second over the third.
I will be notifying the team that your match is now complete. Your nurse will be in communication with you in the next week to outline the next steps in preparation for your cycle.
Best wishes for a successful cycle!
This means we are on track to go! I expect to receive an email from our nurse later this week (she is off on Wednesdays) to outline our specific next steps. From what I understand, they first reach out to the donor and get her cycle schedule and then determine the carriers' schedules from there. I am so excited and actually a little nervous. All of this hard work is coming to fruition!!
The matching person at SGF reached out to B/P to say that the matching process has been completed!
Congratulations! I wanted to inform you that your match with shared SGF donor # 0217-16, in the 1:3 program, is now complete. You will be the Secondary recipient in this match.
Patients selecting an egg donor in the shared programs are assigned a position once the match is complete: primary, secondary or tertiary. For example, in the 1:2 and 1:3 shared programs, position assignments are determined based on the following criteria:
• Previous IVF and/or attempted donor egg cycles at Shady Grove Fertility
• History with Shady Grove Fertility (duration)
• The timing of the donor selection (if all other criteria are equal)
If there are a sufficient number of eggs retrieved to allow each recipient to receive at least four mature eggs, then all recipients will continue with the cycle. If, however, there are insufficient eggs produced, the first recipient has priority over the second, and the second over the third.
I will be notifying the team that your match is now complete. Your nurse will be in communication with you in the next week to outline the next steps in preparation for your cycle.
Best wishes for a successful cycle!
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