breaking through

We still have not received a schedule or timeline for medications and/or transfer.  It continues to be a waiting game.  All I know at this point is that I should continue to only take my active birth control pills (skipping the placebos) to best prepare my body for transfer.

As most of us understand, skipping the placebos and going right into a new month's hormone pills typically should suppress a period.  Last week, I started bleeding a little bit and asked Bethany to call.  I wasn't sure what to do or if we should let the nurse know.  The last thing I wanted was to divulge something that may make it harder on the process.  The bleeding was very sparse and went away within a few hours.  I opted not to reach out to the nurse.

Today, I started bleeding again, with much more force than before.  Since this was the second time and the fact that it seemed to be flowing stronger than previously, I knew I had to mention it to the nurse.  I asked the nurse to give me a call and when she did, I got right to the point.  I was scared as to what she was going to say and when the words came out of her mouth "oh, that is breakthrough bleeding and it is completely normal," I felt a huge sense of relief.  I was told to keep taking the medicine as directed, foregoing any placebo and that if I bleed, everything is okay.  Additionally, should the flow continue and it turns into a period, that is okay too. 

It is the little things that I never would have worried about before that make me think twice on this journey.  Everything about my body and my health is a "what if" these days.  I struggle with keeping things to myself or inquiring because I do not want anything to jeopardize how far we have come.  Just more of that roller coaster, I suppose.  The good thing is that the twists aren't too bad - it is more of a head game for me now.