calm?

Not so much!  The more I think about the upcoming echo, the more uneasy I get.  I have been on pins and needles all evening just knowing that I cannot wait until August 9th.  On the other hand, this is the one day that Bethany's dear mom was going to be able to go and we had her down to do just that.  I so want her to be in on this journey as much as possible and I would give anything for her to go with me.  I reached out to Bethany and asked her if it would be okay if I could reach back out to the nurse to be put on a cancellation list or anything to be seen sooner - the waiting is the hardest part.  

As Bethany wrote me back, very in tune with my hope to get in sooner, she also gave me some really unfortunate news.  Their dog, Lucy passed away this morning.  Oh my goodness, I cannot imagine.  They are at such a vulnerable stage in their lives and the grieving process must be so difficult.  I wish there was something I could do, but we all know there is nothing.  They had returned to NoVA and Phillip was traveling so Bethany was alone, which made it worse.  I am glad she chose to cancel her clients for the day and take time for herself.  All I can think is that this little baby has the best four legged angel watching over her!

My head was trying to figure everything out and I kept thinking about what the nurse told me to try to ease my mind.  Fetal echos are ordered for any/all of three different reasons:

1. There is a genetic predisposition that could indicate heart issues for the baby.  As far as we know, Phillip's family does not have heart problems and I don't think that the egg donor would be considered for the program if there were these concerns.  Not us.
2. There was something concerning identified during the routine ultrasound in the office.  Not us.
3. The routine ultrasound did not provide all of the views necessary to be sure that the heart is perfect.  This is us.

We are in the best position we can be in as far as why we need the additional scan.  That doesn't make the fear of the unknown any easier to handle, but I have to keep this in mind.

Within no time of texting the nurse, she got back to me saying that she could squeeze me in on Thursday - just two more days of waiting!  Woohoo!  I am so thankful for that!  I wish Cheryl could come with me, but they are on vacation and that wouldn't be fair.  Hopefully she can come to a subsequent appointment down the road.  

I am just so thankful that we don't have to wait as long as initially planned.  Of course, I was cool as a cucumber about it all yesterday.  Not so much today.  The lady at VCU has been amazing and I cannot thank her (Wanda) enough!

Here's to good news to come!