our village

I must say, we are so lucky to have our village.  They have been feeding my family all week.  I have had to ask some people for a raincheck because meals would just go to waste at this point.  Bethany's parents brought several items yesterday, including books for the children.  They stayed outside for a few minutes with Jacob and watched the kids play for a few minutes.  The kindness from them is just crazy and hard to believe.  Another friend has told me that she is going to bring supper any night and I keep putting her off, we have too much right now.  My aunt and uncle are scheduled for next week as are Phillip's parents.

I have gotten really awful at writing thank you notes.  My Tita is probably turning over in her grave.  I will not allow myself to feel guilty.  I always make sure to give appreciation via text, but it does not always go through the snail mail.

If you're part of our village please know that I probably don't acknowledge you enough.  We are beyond appreciative for all of the kind gestures constantly in addition to the thoughts and prayers - I promise.

hanging...

...by a thread.

We are doing the best we can right now.  Jacob has been at home with the children.  I am trying my best to work a 50% load.  Somedays I am doing more, some less.  We are schooling Gregory at home - his teacher dropped off all of his school work yesterday afternoon.  Of course, this means that Meade is doing school work, too.  Finding things to keep her engaged and at her level has been interesting - I am not a teacher (nor a stay at home mom) for a reason!

Gregory's school nurse called late last night.  I told her that I am isolated from the kids (as if that is ever a viable option as a mother).  In that case, though, Gregory can return to school June 1st.  What?!?  That's two weeks away.  Because of Memorial Day of course.  That is a week longer than I was expecting - ugh.  Hopefully we will figure out a good routine moving forward.

We don't know how long Jacob will be home - I thought they would have called today, but still nothing.  It's a win for us, though.  I know he's exhausted.  It takes all the energy I have to keep some of my calls on the calendar and then lie down because I am just so tired and/or feel like poop.  It is minute by minute around here.  On top of that, we are still figuring out the house stuff.  More showings starting tomorrow (that is when the VDH said that I would be okay to go out in public again).  This means that we have to have the house ready go show in a pinch - not easy with dirty children!

Dr. C's nurse did reach out yesterday and because of the COVID timeline, they will not change my appointment for the 27th.  This is good news!  I am in week 15 and while I was sure I could feel some movement at 13 weeks, I haven't felt anything in several days.  I'm thinking that I haven't had the wherewithal to notice, honestly.  I even grabbed a doppler from my friend.  I tried twice to find the heartbeat and gave up.  Frankly, I couldn't find mine either, so I am not at all concerned.

Please pray this baby makes it through the virus unscathed.  Please pray for Jacob, that he finds utmost patience in dealing with all of us and especially the children at home.  Please pray for Meade and Gregory, they don't really understand why they can't go anywhere and why they have to do so much schoolwork at home!  And, please, pray for my health.  If that improves, I think all on the peripheral will as well.

logistical nightmare

Trying to figure all of this out is a mess.  The kids got tested this morning and are both negative - thank God!  

I put in calls to both the CDC and the VDH and information coming from them is contradictory - even what is showing on the website verses what they are telling me.  In their defense, everything is changing all of the time so it is hard to determine what is the current guidance.

That said, a nurse at the VDH called me this afternoon.  She was very nice and helpful.  She let me know that due to the date my symptoms started (last Sunday), I will technically be on day 12 this Wednesday and as long as I don't have a fever, which I haven't since Tuesday, and other symptoms are improving, I can technically end quarantine and resume normalcy this Wednesday.  

I have informed work via text message and let them know I will work as much as I can this week but I have to prioritize my own health, which is most importantly rest right now.  Jacob informed his work and he cannot return until the nurse with Henrico calls him back and says it is okay (basically checking his vaccination records).  I texted both the director at daycare and Gregory's teacher.  They have both indicated that the kids cannot return this week, but I will have to give more information about an actual return date.  The nurse from Gregory's school is to call me tomorrow.  

Also, Dr. C's nurse will call tomorrow to let me know if I can still attend my OB appointment scheduled for Thursday the 27th.  Meade is scheduled to go to a reverse inclusion preschool evaluation at Gregory's school next Thursday, too, which is also up in the air.  

The unknown stresses me out more than just the issue of being miserable.  Somehow, someway we will get through it.  Please continue to pray with me that this sweet little girl will be unaffected.

not so pretty

Before I went to bed last night, I told everyone not to ask me how I felt in the morning.  Awful or great, I was going to muster up the energy to pretend I was fine and go about the day as normal.  I often feel that when I let my mind wander about how awful I feel, I tend to feel worse.  If I keep my mind occupied and elsewhere, I forget about the crumminess.  Well, I did just that.

I knew I wasn't feeling awesome, but I desperately wanted to go out on the water.  It is still pretty early in the season and we didn't have any peelers to fish with, but we went out regardless.  We had squid and shrimp for bait and caught nothing at all.  Being in the sunshine with the salty air passing my face did my soul good, but really didn't help me feel any better.  I kind of crashed when we returned - just needing to rest.

Then, tonight, after the kids went to bed, I got a text from CVS stating that my results were ready for me.  I opened the information to read this:

Is it real?  How could it be?  Holy crap - what do I do now?  Are the kids positive?  Have I exposed my aging parents even though they are fully vaccinated?  What about the baby?  A million questions ran through my mind.  The most important thing for me to do was to put in a call to the OB to see what needed to be done on that front.  Protecting this baby is my main goal at this point.

I called the after hours number with VCU women's health and was told that the OB on call would give me a call back in the next 15-30 minutes.  After 45 minutes, I was impatiently awaiting a phone call.  My mom and I sat out on the concrete and made a list of all of the places I had been in the last week and what we needed to figure out for the days ahead.  What a nightmare!

Finally, we got a call back.  Dr. Cox, whom I have never met, was as nice as she could be.  She said that if any person carrying a baby is going to contract COVID, the second trimester is the best time to get it.  The majority of the formation of the vital organs is complete and the risk to me, which puts the baby at greater risk is less at this time.  The biggest worry is my health because if I have trouble breathing or anything like that, it can have affects on the baby.  In the third trimester, complications can easily lead to pre-eclampsia and other items that would mean labor induction and a pre-term delivery.  While none of this is great to hear, I suppose we got the best information we could.  I did ask if I could go to a clinic or anywhere to get an ultrasound of the baby to make sure she was okay.  The doctor quickly said that there is no condition right now that would necessitate testing or an ultrasound so no physician would likely perform those actions.  In addition, because I am positive and not experiencing life threatening symptoms, no provider would likely see me.

I am exhausted, feeling awful, and my mind is spinning.  I am going to go to bed for now to try and rest to figure out the rest tomorrow.

still pitiful

Well, I didn't get better overnight.  I am much the same, but even more concerning, I went to eat dessert last night and realized that I have absolutely no taste.  I tried to smell things around me that one could discern by just the sense in their nose and nothing there as well.  I spent a couple of hours googling the vaccine in the middle of the night.  Can the vaccine cause losing senses of taste and smell, too?  All signs pointed to no.  This was very concerning.  I also took time to make an appointment, just in case, at CVS in Kilmarnock for a COVID test.  I'm sure it will come back negative, but we have to be sure of that and if for some reason if it is positive, I need to quarantine and address every other aspect of my life in the meantime.

I just got home from my appointment.  To my surprise, the drive through at CVS was super easy.  Unfortunately, this was not the rapid test so I will have to wait 1-3 days for results.  The lady at the pharmacy said I should get them tomorrow.  I'm pretty miserable, though.  It is kind of funny to hear people walk by me and tell me how I look like shit.  Guess I should be thankful that isn't a normal occurrence and if I look a quarter of the way I feel, I know it must be awful.  I plan to spend the remainder of the day in bed, letting everyone else take my motherly responsibilities and my only task is to try and gain strength and get better.

and a mack truck

Today was much the same.  I am no better, in fact, even worse.  I feel awful, as if I have the flu with symptoms intensified by four or so.  Jacob tells me to rest, which I definitely would like to do.  Even though I have taken off of work, I had to get the house ready for showings all weekend and an open house on Sunday.  The rest of the daily responsibilities associated with the kids remain as well.  That doesn't leave much time for rest.  Thankfully, work allots for COVID time in which I do not have to take my own PTO and because this is a reaction to the vaccine, I can take off using those hours.

For the first time during this, when I cough or sneeze, on top of peeing a little in my pants, my back hurts pretty bad.  I can only hope and pray that all of this ends soon.  Those that say that the reaction from the second shot is worse that the first is right on.  It is quite possible, too, that all of my symptoms are exacerbated by the fact that I am pregnant.  I remember when being pregnant with Gregory and Meade that just the normal cold was almost unbearable.  Plus, there's always the fact that you can't take meds other than Tylenol.  So, here we are - back aches, a pounding head, lots of nausea, total brain fog, coughing/sneezing fits and occasional congestion.  I can't wait to get off the road, sit down and relax at Mom and Dad's, hoping I will feel better tomorrow and can log in to catch up on work.

hit by bricks

This vaccine is no joke!  I feel like hell.  On top of the cough and sneezing, I have an awful headache, my body aches and I am ill.  I haven't had a fever since the middle of the night.  Oh, and add the pregnancy in, each coughing fit or sneeze makes me pee in my pants - what an awful cycle!  Some of those I have heard that deal with these side effects mention that it only lasts 12 hours or so.  Praying that is the same in my case and my relief will come soon.  Thank goodness for Jacob for basically letting me do nothing today.

If you don't realize how bad it is, I called out of work today.  If you know me at all, you know that I never forego work.  I cleared my calendar as I knew I couldn't handle it in this shape.  Hoping for a better night and day tomorrow!