my new friend

For quite some time, I have known of an acquaintance at the gym that had a child via surrogacy.  When we started down the path of exploration, I stopped her at the gym and asked a few questions.  She was quick to say that she did not have a surrogate but instead a gestational carrier.  Perfect - that is what we were looking at.  I asked if she could reach out to that person to see if I could pick their brain a little.

Fast forward 5 months, I was given her name and told to reach out to her.  So, I did.  This sweet lady, Ilene, was so very welcoming and willing to share anything and everything!  We were supposed to meet over lunch and instead she invited me to her home since her son wasn't feeling well.  Also, she wanted to be able to be in an environment where she could share anything and everything I wanted to know.

I guess I was a little nervous, but Ilene was an open book from the moment I pulled up in front of her house.  She ushered me in and just started talking.  She informed me of her intended parents' journey before she got involved and gave absolutely all of the details throughout the transfer and pregnancy.  Pretty much everything went without a hitch.  To this day, she says it is one of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences she has ever had. 

So many things are similar yet different in our story that is being written.  I loved to hear Ilene's passion about each step of the way.  She was able to provide pointers to think about and shared so much of the beautiful relationships that have lasted since this child was born 7.5 years ago. 

Ilene delivered at MRMC in which the operating room was very small.  Only she and her husband were allowed in the operating room.  Ilene made it clear that she didn't to know the surprise sex of the baby because it wasn't about her and it wasn't her child.  She said she told the nurses to whisk the baby away and get him to meet his parents ASAP.  This is selfless love.  I am hoping that our experience at VCU will be a little different in that we can all be in the operating room but only time will tell.  In fact, I have the contact for the social worker there and need to reach out to her, just don't want to do it too preemptively.

The entire hour we were together was lovely.  What resonated the most with me is that of the baby's belly button.  The belly button of that sweet boy was the only thing that she created and the only thing I will create for Bethany and Phillip's baby.  I had never thought about it like that.  I think that will be a sweet little belly button I will cherish for all time - I can't wait to see it and give it a little kiss.

I am beyond thankful for my time with Ilene and her utmost transparency.  I hope and pray for a smooth journey like she had with the most precious ending!