I could no longer sit back and let my feelings linger. I am no holy-roller but do I have a strong relationship with God. I don't go to church as I feel that my faith is not about a dwelling but a relationship in my heart. God was nudging me constantly that I needed to reach out. I struggled with this, but knew I had to offer.
It just so happened that I had my annual pap this same week and discussed the options of surrogacy with my OBGYN. She explained that I would be a good candidate, although I was approaching an age (I'm 35) where time was winding down. This information solidified the nudges I had been feeling from God and I knew it was time.
I talk to my two children about being kind every single day, sometimes many times a day. If I let this opportunity pass, or if it was nothing they wanted to consider, the kindness of the offer couldn't be passed up. Even though I had offered through the grapevine a couple of years ago to carry a child for them, I wasn't sure how it would be received. I offered again last week and I don't think those offers ever made it to the couple because it is something that is often said in passing but people may not really be up for the challenge.
Would I just be opening up another chance of heartache for B/P? Had they come to terms that it just wasn't going to happen? Were they already exploring adoption?
I got up the gumption to write a simple email "just an offer" to the ever waiting parents to be. This is what I sent:
B,
I
struggle to write this because I don’t know how it will be received, but my
heart is saying I have to put it out there.
C
has shared briefly about your struggles to conceive/carry over the past few
years. I have no idea the pain and agony you and P have experienced –
I am very sorry for the heartache you have been through. If you are ever
considering surrogacy, I am willing to carry your child. Being brutally honest,
I have no idea what all of the logistics are, but if you wanted to explore
further, let me know. There would be no costs associated on our end.
Our
family is complete, but if I could help to give the gift of parenthood to
someone else, I want to do so. Just think about it as another
option. I had my annual pap yesterday and my doctor said I am a good
candidate, although getting older (35) to be the ideal candidate for
surrogacy.
If
you want to talk at all, let me know. If you appreciate the offer but
have no desire to move forward, that is fine, too. You don’t even need to
respond. I just know that this has been weighing on my mind and heart and
if I didn’t offer the option to explore further, I wouldn’t be doing
myself justice.
Regardless,
I wish you and P peace as you figure out where the journey leads.
You are stronger than you think!
Julia
Meade
Once I hit send, I didn't know if I was overstepping or if I had done the right thing. In my heart I knew it was right and I just hoped it would be well received. I was stewing in my own emotional uproar, hoping that I sent the email to the right address and that if nothing else it was appreciated regardless of their thoughts to explore further. A couple of hours later, I received a response. I cried and cried and cried. I was meant to send that offer, it was more than appreciated, and they wanted to see if it could be the next part of their journey.
Sometimes when God speaks to us, we have to listen. He had put this idea in my heart a couple years ago, but never nudged me enough to act on it. I write all of this to document where things lead our families and to instill hope in others also facing fertility issues.
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