My sister died when I was 18. I have struggled with bouts of depression ever since due to many different periods/circumstances in my life. That said, over the last several months, I have experienced a great sense of peace in my life. Life is wonderful! I seem to be on the right meds, I am valued at work in a job that I enjoy, home life is exhausting (but you can't expect much more when you've got a 2 and 4 year old at home), and I am figuring out ways to be more mindful in all aspects of my life. I am working to embrace all of the little joys in life. I am beyond blessed and with my beautiful family, I cannot ask for much more.
My weight has always been an issue. No matter how hard I worked, I could never find the right balance to lose. For some odd reason, I stopped eating breakfast earlier this year. I did so only because I felt like when I ate early, I would then be hungrier throughout the day. For unknown reasons, the weight started falling off. It got to the point where I set up an appointment with my primary care physician to do a complete panel of blood work to make sure there were not any underlying issues. From what he could determine, every test came back completely normal and my weight loss is contributing to an even healthier life.
I have also struggled with alcohol consumption in the past. I was never a responsible drinker that could have one or two in a social setting. I drank to get drunk. I knew this was a problem years ago but never accurately addressed it. For no reason other than to get better for me, last summer, I put the alcohol down and haven't looked back. I have not had a sip in over a year and feel really good about it. Of course, there are stressful days where I think I want to drink, but my new lifestyle doesn't have time for that. I have found a routine that diverts my attention from drinking and am just fine being around others partaking. After all, they can do so responsibly - I cannot.
I have been writing, a lot. In writing, I am assessing where I have been, figuring out where I want to go and working to be more mindful of where I am right now.
Work is going quite well. I work on a great team for an even better leader that values me and appreciates my work ethic and my desire to grow. Recently, I decided to interview for another position that would have given me at least a $15K raise. I wasn't sure if it was the right time or the right opportunity, but I didn't want to pass it up. Internally, I struggled to figure out what was best for me and asked God for clarity as I worked to understand what the next step was. Through some divine intervention (that is another story), I realized this wasn't the right job or the right time to go anywhere else. Once, I made that decision, there was no looking back. I remain dedicated to my team and want to continue to succeed in my current capacity. Yes, the money would be great, but not many people can say they enjoy their work and I truly do.
I write all of this because I feel as if God had plans for me and I had no idea what they were. I didn't even think twice about anything except for the fact that he is putting me in the best frame of mind to work toward helping B/P become parents, because they will be the best.
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