Last night, I took the opportunity to share what I have written with our families. After doing so, I laid in bed wondering if this entire process was meant to be. The fears of it all continue to linger. I was sick to my stomach thinking about the disappointment that may ensue. Thinking about Jacob and my children that will be along for the crazy ride. Thinking about our family dynamic that may change forever, good or bad. Thinking about what this may mean for everyone regardless of the outcome.
Then I got a sweet text from B that said "it's like having a fairy Godmother by my side." This touched me and helped me to put my emotions aside and stop dwelling on the anxiety that stems from the concerns associated.
If we don't try, we won't know. I remembered why I even offered. The advantages of this journey will always outweigh the disadvantages. I am devoted to do whatever it takes, unless my health is ever at risk. I am dedicated to this process and to B/P through it all.
Deep down, it feels right. It may not be perfect, but it IS right. In the trenches of my heart I truly believe that we all will be okay as we navigate the lengthy journey ahead.
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