Dr. Seuss wrote: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." This rings true here. It is not that I care about any judgement that may arise from all of this, it is about following who I am as an individual. That said, I need to know I am supported.
Support, all I (we) need, is support. I am so thankful to have the support of everyone I have talked to about this crazy, beautiful journey.
Jacob, the wonderful man I call my husband, is on board. He was an angel brought to me several years ago and through him, I met B/P. While he had and still has a million questions that we are all figuring out, he is completely supportive of my desire to go through with this if at all feasible. Let me tell you, I am not a happy pregnant person - literally and figuratively. As when I was pregnant with Meade, he picked up so many of the duties around the house and with Gregory. He just jumps in and does it. The fact he is willing to do it again is beyond what I could have imagined. It is silly to say, but my love for this man has grown exponentially in the last week knowing he is here to hold my hand through every step of the way. He even offered to take an injection in the ass to see what it feels like in preparation for the implantation - he better live up to it!
First, I had to clue in my mom. My mom has been through an extremely rough period (of almost twenty years) for a myriad of reasons. However, she has overcome and is my newest best friend. She was on a trip to see her best friend in Maine and I couldn't wait another day to see how she felt. Mom immediately hesitated because she doesn't want my health to ever be at risk. I absolutely understand. As I have shared with everyone about the subject (and B/P are in full support), should my health ever be in jeopardy, we will not follow through. My father is on the same page with my mom and I am okay with that. Regardless, they are supportive and I am so grateful!
My grandfather (albeit step - I mean bonus) is also very excited that I have taken a leap of faith and started to explore this. As we sat in the ER last Sunday, waiting for him to get admitted, he grinned from ear to ear and said "the most beautiful thing in this world is a woman carrying a child." While I am not his DNA, Art has been in my life for 20+ years and has never failed to support me. We continue on that train to this day.
Ricky, my brother, had a different reaction. He almost screamed "What? Are you crazy? Don't you hate being pregnant?" Well, yes - yes, I do. This isn't about me, though. This is about giving something to someone else that is more than deserving. I don't give birthday or Christmas gifts because I have to - I give gifts when there is no reason because they have meaning. Well, I feel like that is kind of where we are with this. There is no more meaningful of a gift one can give in this walk through life. Regardless, Rick thinks it is very cool and kept stressing the selflessness of it all and is more than supportive to put up with the bitch in me for 40 weeks if it all works out!
Ricky's wife, Tara, thinks this is "incredible." She, too, has offered the same for her best friend but was never taken up on that generosity. I had a very brief conversation with her, but no matter what, she is more than supportive to walk beside me.
I have talked to the women in Jacob's family, too. I think my mother in law was so dumbfounded that she didn't know what to say but through teary eyes said the offer was amazing. She is here to support us as we work through it all. As I wrote earlier today, C - B's sister, is full of gratitude and fully supportive of where this leads, even if we end up at a dead end. That, my friends, is more than I ever could ask for. Jacob's sister was flabbergasted, too. She must've said the word "magnanimous" several times, which I (embarrassingly) had to google. I mean, I understood what it meant by the way she was using it, but I had to read it for myself. I think that word is a little extreme, but I liked hearing it once I knew the full meaning. Regardless, she seemed excited to learn more, offer perspectives of others she has seen in similar journeys and also offered her support.
I wasn't sure how to approach B's parents, but I took the horse by the reigns, asked for their number and called. The call was welcomed and the gratitude they showed was more than I could ever ask for. These individuals are very strong in their faith and it was soothing to hear them say (as C did) that no matter what, they will be forever thankful that I acted on the tugs of my heart. They were beyond generous to say I could call and reach out for anything and everything, especially an ear if I needed someone to listen. I have always adored these people, but after today, I really feel connected to them. Above all, they are more than supportive and have helped to validate that this was more than me - I was led to do this, as cliche as it may seem.
I have the support of all those I need at this time. I will forever be grateful for every one of these people as we see where the road leads us.
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