uncertainty

Instead of listening to my now normal podcasts (journeys of others throughout infertility, IVF, surrogacy, egg donation, etc.) at the gym, I knew I needed something different today.  I was searching for something to give positive thoughts for the big day ahead. Nothing was striking me so I went back to another podcast I have listened to several times called Unf*ck Your Brain.  There was an episode on uncertainty.  I decided this is exactly what I need.

So much of this journey is unknown.  There is no defined path or perfect course.  Every body, relationship, embryo is different.  I realize that uncertainty often paralyzes me.  It is basically a fear of the unknown like I have already written about.  This journey is uncharted territory for us at the time and regardless of the planner mindset I have, I need to work on embracing the present, not worrying about the future, but preparing my mind to know that whatever the future holds will create the best path for all of us.

Should things not go perfectly, we all have to accept that, place no blame, refuse to overthink the whys, ifs, etc., and realize that the crazy ride we are on is the right course.

What I have learned is that I must manage my mind through all of this.  I cannot manage the outcome, but I can make the decision to understand that regardless of the next steps, I have to love each stage as part of the journey.  While I can remain curious and search for knowledge, I cannot focus on the future, just how I feel today and how I plan to tackle whatever is thrown our way.  If I decide on purpose that the version of my life and what is uncertain because of whatever happens after it, what I learn, and how I grow, I am preparing myself far better than planning for the unknown.  I am going to love this journey no matter what happens.  Our thoughts create our results and if we are not afraid of uncertainty, we remain present in our experiences and feel the beauty of it, all of it - the hardships, the bumps, the joys, everything.

“The only certainty you need is that you can manage your mind no matter what happens and that you can love whatever life you have.  And when you know that, there are no risks you’re not willing to take.  There are no experiences you’re not willing to show up for.  There is no life you’re not willing to have.  There is no moment you are not willing to be present with.  That is the one thing of which you can be certain.”  - Kara Loewentheil

All positive thoughts and prayers are welcomed today!  The only certain thing is that at the end of the day, we will all be more educated and better understand what comes next, if anything!