blessed

A couple of nights ago, I got into bed before 8 as I typically do.  I laid there and had a rush of emotions running through my mind.  I have never been in such a good place.  I am so damned happy.  My life is wonderful.  I tried to call my parents and thank them for everything they provided growing up, but most importantly instilling in me values that still matter.  I hope that one day my children will think of Jacob and me as I do them. 

In this moment of overwhelming joy, I also sent a note to B letting her know that all is really good and that I am determined to make this work.  Her response, which I saw yesterday morning, was "P.S. You've changed my life."  That is not what I was going for here (at least not yet).  Obviously, I do want to change her and P's lives, bringing a sweet baby home to love, but I never imagined I would have impact already. 

When all is said and done, if everything works or if it doesn't, my hope is that the world is a little brighter because of this journey.  I hope that someone thinks about doing something kind for someone else because they want to, not because it is expected.  I hope families are brought together out of difficult times to realize there is so much more that life has to offer. 

I can tell you - my life is already brighter.  And, on an really bright side, my body is lighter.  I weighed in today after a week and I am down four pounds from last week.  While I am thrilled, I also don't want to lose it too fast because that can be unhealthy too.  The work at the gym is paying off!

And at the end of today, like every day, I plan to "keep fucking going."