VCU follow up

I think I've probably stated this but I am less than satisfied with VCU when it comes to anything beyond direct care (which is most wonderful).  Well, today is no different.  I had a surgery follow up this morning with an NP that I had never met before.  It was virtual.  How can a surgery follow up be virtual?  Don't you want to look at the incision?

Well, it was ten minutes after the scheduled time and still no call or text to join any appointment.  I sent messages via the portal and just waited.  Eventually, an NP called. She was very nice, but had no idea the situation.  She kept asking me questions about breastfeeding, the baby, etc.  I finally had to stop her and tell her that I am not the baby's mother.  This took her back.  I told her how frustrating it is that all providers have electronic medical records yet no one reads them and just assumes they know what they're talking about.

The poor NP was so apologetic.  While she asked about the incision, I told her that I am not the one to make the determination that it is doing well or not.  I don't understand why this is a virtual visit.  She mentioned that since COVID, most people didn't want to come out in public with a new baby.  That was not my situation and I prefer to have the proper care regardless.  She understood.  She then asked several questions about my mood, which I answered honestly.  She was leaning into postpartum depression to which I feel like I screamed out of frustration - NO MY BROTHER JUST DIED!  I mean, that was in my chart, too.

I felt bad for how I was treating her, but the frustration was getting the best of me.  She couldn't have been any nicer, though.  She suggested I get on the calendar to see Dr. C to look at the incision to which I was thankful for.  She let me know that someone would be reaching out to schedule something.  We all know how scheduling goes - wonder if I will even get that call?

Mom and I worked on what feels like thousands of thank you notes the rest of the morning.  It was nice that Meade was back in school!  

This afternoon, before soccer practice, we took Gregory in for his first COVID shot.  He had no idea what was going on.  The local school had it set up like clockwork!  Until we got into the area where shots were being directly given and Gregory was in the chair, he had no idea what was going on.  He absolutely lost it.  Jacob held him down and the shot was finally administered.  

We sat and waited with some friends before heading to soccer.  Jacob engaged, but I didn't.  I couldn't.  Things are just too tough for me right now and I don't want to be a blubbering mess.  I hope that our friend understands.  

Off to soccer we went and it was nice to chat with moms I don't know well.  For some reason, I can hold my composure so much better when people aren't aware of anything.  It helps me to forget a little, too.  I said I would facilitate a coach gift, which gives me something else to focus on right now.  The friend from the COVID shot, her husband, came up to me at practice and I again was very short and not engaging. Ugh, I feel awful about it, but I don't know how else to approach things right now.

One day things will be better and life will be joyful again.