keeping the faith

Y'all, my faith has been tested over the last few days.  I have been so positive throughout this whole journey and I have to keep that optimism and know that the recent hiccup is just another speed bump on this road.  I continue to pray and God keeps telling me that everything is going to be just fine.  I am trusting what he is telling me.

I swear, I have never in my life felt so connected to spirit.  The relationship with God in my heart is stronger than it has ever been.  I am thankful for that.

While I not ready to share the the current issue publicly, I will in due time, once everything is smoothed over.  I have shared what is going on with Bethany and have ensured her that I am still fully invested in this journey and 110% committed.

On a brighter note, at my weigh in this morning, I lost three more pounds.  I am down to 220 - 20 more to go for the mock cycle and 30 more total for transfer!  To top it off, I had a lovely off-site work meeting with a lady that has been a shining light in my life and career over the last decade.  She truly inspires me and has been one to teach me to trust my faith and to listen to God.  This beautiful soul is one of the reasons that I made this "offer."

When I was at Westminster Canterbury last week, I bought a few children's books at their thrift sale.  I saw this book and read it just now.  It has given me everything I need:

"There are times when I worry about what might happen next and what happened before.  The thoughts in my head are like rushing water, and I feel like a boat with no anchor...being carried away.  I give myself a moment.  I take a breath.  And then I tell myself: It's alright.  I feel the ground beneath my feet and steady myself and start to notice the HERE and the NOW.  My thoughts begin to settle.  My mind begins to clear.  I am Peace.  I can watch my worries gently pop and disappear.  I let thing go.  I can say what I feel inside out loud.  I know myself.  I can share kindness with others.  I make a difference.  I can hug a tree and thank it for its beauty and strength.  I connect to nature.  I can watch the clouds make shapes against the sky.  I know wonder.  I can taste and smell and touch and see and hear and see what is all around me.  I use my senses.  I can feel my breath fill my whole body.  I tune into me.  Now the water is still.  I have found my anchor, and everything IS alright.  I don't need to worry about before or after.  I am in THIS moment.  I am peace.  Now I share my peace with others and hope that it is carried away to those who need it.  And I dream...WE ARE PEACE."