light spotting

Last night I was a disaster.  I went to the restroom in the evening and when I wiped, I noticed there was a pink smear.  Not good.  Not good at all.  I wiped again and there was a little more, brighter red, this time.  Makes sense, considering the first bit was mixed with my urine.  I looked in the bowl and noticed just a couple of small droplets of blood - nothing too bad.  I started to panic and was almost in tears when I told Jacob.  I decided that if I was going to panic, I needed to wait until after the kids went to bed.  

On edge, I started going back through my notes to see about bleeding/spotting and when Kim said I needed to get others involved and when to be alarmed.  I noticed that all of those notes pointed to that this little bit of blood was likely part of implantation bleeding and there was no need to panic.  Try telling my already crazy mind that!  So, I went back to our journey in August and thought about that one time that I had bleeding that was riddled with clots and much more heavy.  Thank goodness for this blog - I went back to those posts to see where we were in the process compared to where we are now.  The good thing is that the last time, the bleeding was so much more and also several days earlier in that cycle.  

My mind started to ease a little.  I put the kids to bed and went back to the bathroom, scared to see what I would be faced with.  Luckily, there was nothing else to show!  I decided that I would just go to bed, pray a lot, and vow to take it easy for the weekend.  I could definitely stress, but what good would that do?  If there is negative impact, there's nothing I can do to fix it. I was so tired, I couldn't even think about reaching out to Bethany and let her know.

Thankfully, I slept okay.  Every time I woke up, I prayed for the embryo.  Most prayers didn't even get to the Amen as I fell back to sleep quickly.  This morning, I was ready to go and take a walk but remembered my commitment to take it easy.  Even as my friend texted to go out for a few miles, I told her I couldn't - it just wouldn't be advisable right now.  

So, I sit here updating this, continuing to pray for good news on Tuesday and a restful weekend ahead.  We are so excited to have a cousin (boy Meade) and meet his gal for the first time for lunch.  I have also texted Bethany just to keep her informed, but fear that she will get upset.  Prayers for everyone - especially this little embryo!