Our Gregory family Christmas is one of my most cherished days of the year. Always on the 26th, it is either in the evening of a workday or during the day should it fall on a Saturday or Sunday. I woke up in a fog and with extreme anxiety. Most of my cousins I have not seen since Ricky's service. My mom is one of six and we have a boat load of cousins and it really touched my heart that all of those within a couple of hours driving distance were there to offer their support.
I texted my aunt asking her to go easy on me because I was really nervous about being there. The weather couldn't have been any nicer and the hugs from everyone helped. To tell so many thank you for being there for us had me teary at many points of the afternoon, but I didn't lose control. To keep Ricky's spirit alive, I spent a ton on scratch off tickets and gave all of my direct cousins, their spouses, and children each a scratcher. Several said that they were sad that they weren't going to get Ricky hugs or lottery tickets this year. I am glad I could make one of them happen even though we all wish the other was what we got.
We even went back to the old school days, with steak and eggs on the menu. It was delicious! Uncle Bobby did his normal pick your envelope to see what you get, for all of the "kids." Liza was the $100 winner this year - go Lize! It was super sweet that Uncle Bobby has now named his envelope game the Cousin Ricky Lottery.
I got to meet a significant other I had not yet previously met and I adored her! Being with everyone was just what my heart needed, even though, as I have said many times, it was quieter this year without Rick. The kids were super excited to get a tennis net and Meade her own racket from Aunt and Uncle Shug. They all played out in the driveway and had a blast.
As the sun goes down today, I am thankful. It is so conflicting to be so happy and so damned sad at the same time. One day this fog will subside.
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