what’s wrong

Jacob tries.  He’s amazing most days but one thing that really bothers me is when he says “what’s wrong.”  He texted to ask how things were going and I said it has been a bad day, only for him to ask what’s wrong.  I’m sad. I’m heartbroken.  I’m lost.  I told him he didn’t need to ask me that question any longer and he suggested that if I communicated more he would know. Bullshit - that just pissed me off more.

Meade and I had a fun outing today.  We went to pick up a fire pit and since we were near carytown, I thought we would run by West Elm to see what they had.  I had a small gift card there that was given to me two years ago that I had yet to use.  We looked at all of the beautiful things.  Let me tell you, Meade has expensive taste!  I couldn’t find anything that I loved and frankly that store wasn’t somewhere that I’d find myself going back to.  I struggled with what to do and decided to give the gift card to a couple in line, asking them to pay it forward one day.

They tried not to accept it but I insisted.  As we were getting in the car, the husband ran out to me and gave me some cash. He said he didn’t have as much as the card was for but wanted me to have it.  I asked him to please keep it - the world is a better place when we are all kind to each other.  He refused and told me to get something special for my daughter.

Meade heard that and decided that she couldn’t wait to get something.  I tried to make it another teachable moment.  We went to a consignment shop in lakeside.  There was one rule - you can get a prize but only AFTER you pick out a Christmas present for Gregory from you.  It was a difficult concept at first.  She only wanted to look at all of the beautiful jewelry in the case.

Once we started looking for Gregory, it seemed to be more fun.  We debated several things and ended up choosing a really cool helicopter ornament before making our way back up to the front and choosing this really ugly costume ring that is gold with a pink heart stone.

The lady at the shop was the sweetest.  She had just picked up her dog’s ashes and was feeling down.  We just talked and I think together picked each other up a little bit.

I told Jacob that he needed to do the same with Gregory and he went ahead and took him this afternoon with the same rules.  I laughed when I went to wrap the teal hair extension and bracelets that he chose for Meade.

Part of me is looking forward to tomorrow to be with my parents but the rest of me wants to skip ahead a couple of weeks.  Time is what is necessary.