Tonight with my friend Mavis, studying the bible, I had more moments where it felt like I was being spoken to, with just what I needed to hear. We went through an exercise that laid out troubles and how God addresses those items in the bible. I was asked to choose which one of the verses, which explained solutions to troubling situations means the most to me. I pondered for a moment and chose the one that states we will experience complete peace. Frankly, if my world is peaceful, none of the troubles matter. So that one solution takes care of all of them at once. The bible offers hope in ways I never would have imagined.
There is a lot on my mind this week. I have a meeting tomorrow with an author to discuss a retreat I feel as though I have been called to attend. I'm scared to death to do it, but think it could really be good for me, especially these days. Following the birth last October, I knew that I would have to find my new purpose in life. I have spent so much effort and energy on bringing that sweet baby in the world, what what I focus on now? I don't know. I figured it would be an issue, but had no idea that I would be dealing with such fierce grief at the same time.
My prayer is that tomorrow gives me the answers I need and the ability to step out of my comfort zone, if it is the right time. Everyone says I cannot be enough for others if I am not enough for myself. Maybe, just maybe, that self is on the horizon?! It is exciting and terrifying at the same time.
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