I went into therapy today feeling really good. Everything has been going well. Yes, I am tired. Yes, I am still sad most of the time, but I am doing my best to live in the present. Trying to feel the emotions and let them come and go as needed. Of course there are difficult times, but they are getting to be less. I feel a little lost because I am in the middle of four different self help books right now and on any given day, I don't know which one to focus on. It becomes overwhelming to make that decision, so often I just don't read. This is not going to help me at all.
I am beyond grateful that work is going really well. I went into therapy in a wonderful mood and everything was great, until it wasn't. Ugh, of course I need to go deep and feel, but sometimes I just don't feel like it. I think I cried more during our session today than I have yet to date. Everything we discussed seem to be raw, when it hadn't seemed so raw for the past couple of weeks. I am glad my parents were here with Meade today so when I got out of the session, I was able to talk through a few things with them. We cried and just said that we would have each other to get through the tougher times. I thank God for them - I am not sure where I would be without them at this time.
When I went in to therapy thinking that everything was great, it quickly turned. We never know what will hit us and when. It stinks - it's purely awful. That said, I know it is part of the process that I remain to be committed to.
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