This morning, I met Bethany and her mother at the doctor for technically the 32 week appointment, even though I am 33+3. We had the ultrasound and this sweet little girl is absolutely perfect. She is measuring about 4 pounds 10 ounces and is coming in in the 38th percentile - so right on track. We didn't get a really good view of her face, but were able to see her profile...notice her hand is up in front of her face - that is what you see resting on her nose and upper lip.
Phillip was able to FaceTime for the appointment, which was nice. What has been difficult is that I was unable to hug Bethany. Poor thing has a very itchy rash over most of her body and out of precaution, we are not touching one another. At least she was still able to come and having her mom with us was also very special.
As we waited to see Dr. C, the three of us were talking in the waiting room. Of course, they asked a loaded question - how was everything? Well, since they asked and I slept little last night, I basically unloaded on them. I let them know the difficulties that Jacob and I were having - pretty much a bitch session. I am very honest in that while I complain, the vast majority of the blame should be placed on me. I am not coming to the table with the right approaches/reactions to get better responses and I am so tired and cranky on top of it all. It was nice to be validated, though. Since both Bethany and her mom are mental health professionals, they get it.
As Bethany and I were called back, I had to take a minute to step back and ask that she not judge Jacob based upon my bitching - that wouldn't be fair. He has been a saint through the vast majority of this process and this is just a little speed bump in the road of life. Everything will be okay. Bethany assured me that she would never let my thoughts taint her vision of Jacob or our relationship - what we are going through is normal. I guess that is good? Either way, it did make me feel a little better to know that anyone in this position would probably go through some marital struggles at this time.
My blood pressure looked great and I had actually lost a couple of pounds, which was nice. Dr. C didn't mention the weight loss, but I was proud of myself. It can only be attributed to the fact that I am exercising more and eating healthier because those are external factors that I can control which will help me feel better and I need to do all I can as I battle my own mind.
We talked about my short term disability paperwork that I sent over earlier this morning. They will be able to fill it out and return it to my workplace within a couple of weeks. I asked about the tubal ligation during the cesarean. A friend had mentioned that most MDs no longer do ligations, but instead remove the fallopian tubes, so I wanted to get clarity there. Dr. C explained that this is what she does do now, she likely just used the wrong terminology. From what I understand, studies show that even if the tubes are cauterized and "tied" there is still a chance of ovarian cancer, which is now why doctors prefer to remove the tubes all together. And for all of you folks that want to get grossed out, Dr. C even said that she would show me the tubes once they are removed!
I asked about the anal swab which is typical. Apparently that swab is done usually in week 37. This is to identify particular bacteria which will be mitigated with antibiotics prior to the cesarean to alleviate passing any bacteria to the baby. Frankly, I wasn't sure if this was necessary with a cesarean or not, which it is. Even if we go into labor on our own, I will likely be treated with the antibiotics as a precautionary measure.
Lastly, I asked about wound care. For both of my other deliveries, I was able to get this fancy vacuum wound strip, called a pico I believe. Dr. C mentioned that they do not have those at VCU, which immediately frightened me. I asked her how would I know how to take of the incision to which she laughed and said it is really easy, just shower and keep it dry after shower. I guess that is fair enough. Who knew I had it so easy before?
We talked more about the birthing "plan," which really will be a work in progress until go-time. There is nothing that can be done to adequately figure it all out. Bethany will be in the operating room. Possibly Phillip, if they both bring in their negative COVID PCR tests and the anesthesiologist allows it. If he isn't able to be in the room, how will it work for Bethany to leave the operating room with the baby to go to Phillip. Does she wait for me? I think that by the time surgery is over and they stitch/staple me up, it will be probably around about the same amount of time that the baby will need to get cleaned up and have some initial tests run.
I did ask Bethany, if okay with them, I would really like to be there when Phillip meets the baby. So if he is not allowed in the room, could we leave the operating room together so I could experience his first sight and cuddle. It is all of these logistics that we can plan to the hilt but we cannot really have expectations to go perfectly. The only reasonable expectation that I can hope for is that we are all healthy at the end of the day. If we get to share special moments, it will be icing on the cake.
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