I was pretty nervous as I went into the counseling session today. Thankfully, I was dressed up (unfortunately for a funeral that I had to go home for) and even had make up on. I don't know why, but it makes me feel better - fake it until you make it, right? The therapist was lovely. Of course, I talked the vast majority of the time. I set the stage at the beginning to say that right now I want to focus on the present and get tools and guidance of how to be the best version of me through birth and then postpartum.
I have so many skeletons and insecurities deep down and it will probably behoove me to work on those things, however I need immediate help and want to keep my priority on the here and now.
It was an interesting fifty minutes. I laid it all out on the line. The therapist didn't say much. She basically validated that what I am going through is tough and that anyone would have problems facing daily activities at this time. The validation was very nice to hear, but on the other hand, how can she help me? Finally, we were at the juncture of should we continue or not. I simply said that I am on board if she can provide guidance to me to work through these items and struggle less, I am all ears. I think that the time was well spent just to develop a relationship. We will meet again in a couple weeks and I hope that together we can come up with a game plan of different ways for me to think and/or act, approach and/or react so that normal life seems less difficult and more pleasurable.
One small step to do the right thing - for me!
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