Tonight I had a beautiful supper out with a dear friend from several years ago. We keep in touch via text here and there, but not nearly enough. We actually tried to get together in May, but then I got COVID and again a few weeks ago and she had something come up. It felt too good to be true that we were both able to make it! Together, we talked and talked, for almost two hours, just catching up on life. It was such a nice time! As much as I dreaded going - let's face it, I am exhausted. Plus adding a night out on Tuesday in between soccer practice Monday and dance on Wednesday just seemed like torture. But, I did it and boy was it worth it. It was almost like a little time-out on life for me - no kids screaming my name or even bedtime routines to worry about, someone else doing the cooking and company I have missed for so long.
On the way home, I made a point to call my cousin up in Rhode Island because it had been a couple of weeks since chatting and she had texted last night to check in. As tough as it was, I told her that I had finally realized and acknowledged my gloomy mood and that I was committed to do something about it. Much to my surprise, she basically told me that she could hear it in my voice for a few months but that each time we talked, I would skirt around her questions about my well being. I guess that it doesn't take much for others to sense when I am not right either. I am unsure why I didn't read into her questions - I suppose I was just that deep in denial about it, finding tons of other (truly valid) excuses to be in the dumps.
Despite the fact that I don't want to do anything or really talk to many people, it is obvious the joy and help it brings. One little step at a time and I will overcome this funk!
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