I don't know why this has been weighing on my heart recently. When I dig deep, I think that maybe I want to relive all of this without awful grief just at the climax. This morning, I knew I had to let Bethany and Phillip know that I am willing to try again if they wanted more children. That said, we all know I am getting older and if it was there wish, we might want to start again sooner rather than later.
God kept nudging me on my way home from mom and dad's. I knew it wouldn't be appropriate for a text nor would I know what to say, plus I was driving. Thus, I left a blubbering message for Bethany with these crazy thoughts. I think they are content with Makenna, but you never know where someone else's heart lies.
Bethany attempted to call back, but texted the sweetest message. She and Phillip are beyond in love and are not thinking about additional children. On one hand, I was relieved. On the other, I wanted new purpose. I wanted that itch to make the right decisions to lose weight again. Overall, though, I have always wanted them to be a family and that they are.
This may say final, but if they were to change their minds and I was still at an age where it could be done, I am up for the challenge. (Don't tell Jacob)
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