transfer complete

And just like that, it is done and all seems like some out-of-this-world transaction.  The transfer is complete and it is hurry up and wait until I have bloodwork on the 31st to see if the embryo implanted and if we have a viable pregnancy.  Even though I had had the mock transfer before, I always thought there would be more to it.  A little "wham bam thank ya ma'am" and out the door I went.  I am going to do my best to detail the day for you as it was quite special and I think Bethany, Phillip, my Mom and I will treasure it forever, regardless of the outcome.

It was Mom's and my goal to leave the house by 445am.  Since we were up and ready with nothing to do but stare at one another, we left around 420.  When we checked the map yesterday, it suggested the travel time would be between two hours and fifteen minutes to two hours and thirty minutes.  As we got in the car (and after grabbing a diet coke at WaWa), the navigation said arrival time was 611am.  Well, early we would be and that was okay, too.  It was nice to be able to take our time, stop to pee, and just not be in a rush.

The ride up was great.  Traffic was easy and even though heavy at times, it was steady.  Mom and I talked about everything under the sun.  I enjoyed my time in the car with her and without kids screaming in the background!  We stopped to pee and just dilly dally since there was extra time in the agenda.  I was actually told that I needed to stop by 6am to go to the potty and then proceed to drink 16 ounces of water, in which I was not allowed to relieve myself of before the procedure.  I think that we got to Shady Grove up in Rockville around 630.  Soon after Bethany and Phillip texted with their ETA of 655am.  Mom and I shot the shit in the car until about 650 and then decided to go sit on the benches in front of the building until B/P got there.  It was reassuring for mom, too, because we noticed that the building was open and had chairs and benches in the lobby.  Even though she couldn't wait in the SGF waiting room, there was the option of sitting in the air conditioning downstairs, which helped ease her mind.

I had seen Bethany and Phillip's car go straight through the intersection (I thought), instead of turning into the street where we were.  I told Mom I knew it was them, that the must've noticed a Starbucks up ahead.  As Mom and I waited on the bench, we read aloud more text messages from people being sure to give their support, love, thoughts, and prayers this morning.  It was really heartwarming.  Finally, I got a text that Bethany needed a pit stop.  Maybe they just needed a moment alone before they get here - which we TOTALLY understand!  

A few minutes later Bethany and Phillip pull in.  It was surreal.  It is hard to believe that we are finally here, together, approaching embryo transfer in just less than an hour.  After big hugs, Bethany said she had to go to the car to get a couple of things for me.  As I balked, she flat out said that I need to be a better receiver - touche, very true.  She came back with a puzzle and a gift bag.  Puzzles are my favorite and keep my mind occupied!  This one has different foods on it, in which my eyes go to the donuts, cake, ice cream, etc.  Bethany was quick to point out the kale (really?)!  In the bag, I was gifted a pair of lucky transfer socks and the sweetest saying on a coffee mug - "I make families.  What's your super power?"  If that doesn't bring it all together, not much will.  I was humbled and so thankful for the gifts they showered me with and was antsy to get inside.  Maybe if I get up there early they will take me early?

        

I gave everyone hugs and kisses and made my way up the elevator to the fourth floor.  The lady at the desk got my name.  With a huge smiles she said oh, it is transfer day! and told me to take the elevator one more floor up to the 5th floor.  Oh, that was exciting!  Special treatment maybe?  I rode the elevator up with a lady that was visibly several weeks pregnant but not too far along.  She asked if today was my transfer and I said yes, but my intended parents were downstairs.  She told me to relax it was easy and that she has done IVF several times.  When I assumed she understood the IP thing, I asked if she was a surrogate and she looked at me like I was crazy and said no, she has babies for her own family.  Oh, I am sorry, I thought she was connecting over the intended parents and IVF - guess not.  No worries, she was super nice, regardless.  At the fifth floor reception desk, I was told to have a seat until my name was called.  

It was beautiful in there.  People around me were being called.  Everything was quiet, everyone seemed timid but pretty content.  Inside, my anxiety was revving up - slowly, but consistently.  I started to pray.  That is the only thing getting me through right now.  I talked to Katie a little bit and then turned my conversation back to God.  I continued to beg him for the strength, courage, and stamina for all of us to get through whatever lies ahead - the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, etc.  As clear as day, God whispered to me (like he had time after time) "I've got this."  I thanked him and then he proceeded to to say "I wouldn't have told you to make this offer if I wasn't going to be here every step of the way taking care of any and all worries."  Then and there I was dumbfounded.  He is right.  This was His plan, I am just a means to the end.  Immediately, my anxiety was releasing and my fears stepped aside.  In the last couple of days and frankly throughout this journey I have been praying a ton, but it never occurred to me that He wouldn't have guided me into this to be set up for devastation and heartache.  Now, He said it himself.  The words are still tearing me up as I write this several hours later.

Throughout my thoughts and prayers, I was texting Bethany just to let her know I still hadn't been taken back.  Of course, the moment I stepped up to grab some water - anything to divert my attention - my name was called.  Everyone else I had seen was going into a door to the left.  I was called from a door on the right.  I entered that area, was told to take my shoes off, put on the booties they provide and then pull out my picture ID.  I did as I was told and asked the lady if I could wear the special socks for the procedure, too.  At first she told me under the booties only, but then she said, "what the heck, it doesn't matter - do what is most comfortable for you!"  I had to laugh.  It was only 8am and the poor lady seemed like she was ready for the day to be over.  This lady then walked me to the room.  Someone in the hall said good morning through their face mask and I did the same.

When we got into the room and I was told to get undressed from the waist down and sit on the table, something clicked.  Was that Dr. Nair in the hallway, I asked?  Yes, it was!  Is she doing our transfer?  Yes, she is!  Again, my whole being just relaxed and smiled.  How freaking lucky are we?!?  I texted Bethany a picture of my feet with the socks in showing I was in the room.  I no time Dr. Nair came in.  The first thing she said to me was that she couldn't believe how my weight kept coming off and that I looked great.  That made me feel so damned good.  Then, she said I could facetime Bethany which I did immediately.  It was so wonderful for us all to be together virtually even though we couldn't be together physically.  Below are a couple of the screenshots Bethany took while I was in the transfer room.

        

One thing I really aprpecaite about this whole process is how Bethany and Phillip included my mom in everything.  When Dr. Nair wanted to say hi, they ran over to her bench so my mom could say hi back.  First, Dr. Nair went over the embryo situation.  I have to admit I did not understand it all, some were not mature and they would test in a couple of days, some were not viable, some were looking great, but not a blastocyst yet, and there was this one - this one perfect blastocyst of an embryo, which would be transferred today!  They showed a picture of that up on the screen, it was pretty cool to see, but I wish I would've taken a picture of it.   

I was literally in the room for probably only 10 minutes.  The speculum was inserted, which was literally the only thing I felt during the entire procedure.  I watched the ultrasound as Dr. Nair inserted the catheter and she showed the white line on the ultrasound.  Instead of having the FT camera on me, I had it on Dr. Nair or the screen, whichever seemed more important at the time.  They called for the embryologist.  She came in and asked my name and who I was carrying for.  She returned two minutes later with the said "perfect" embryo.  Again, she asked names and then provided the embryo in some thing (I have no idea to be honest) that inserted it into the catheter.  From there, in a matter of about 20 seconds, you can see the catheter line light up bright again and a wave go through the near uterus, which we were told was the embryo transfer.  The embryologist left and Dr. Nair said she had to take a look at the "thing" to make sure that the embryo is not in there.  Apparently sometimes they push it but it does not release out of the "thing" so they have to do it again.  This doesn't' hurt anything, they just want to make sure that the goods are where they are supposed to be.

All is done!  We were told that I had to get dressed, sign a form and then go.  As I waited for the form, the first nurse knocked and said I needed to leave.  I told her about the form and she said you are the GC, you don't sign anything.  Oh, apparently the IP protocol is different and someone must've just forgotten that it is not my responsibility to sign an additional form.  That was it.  I exited, quickly found the restroom, and went downstairs to my fan club (not really, but we all couldn't wait to see each other).

Everyone was all smiles.  There was not much to discuss since they had been a part of the entire experience.  We decided we would head off to breakfast and celebrate.  Here is the "after" picture of Bethany and me.

Breakfast was amazing.  Frankly, it was super expensive for my blood, but I enjoyed every bite of it.  We all just had a relaxing time as if nothing had happened thirty minutes ago and we were all set for the future to be perfect.  So strange how everything was working out.  On the way there, my mom told me how blown away she was by the transfer.  She said she could clearly see the moment of transfer and that she is so intrigued, moreso than ever before.  I loved hearing that.  While my parents are my biggest supporters, they also are concerned for my health and well being.  I get it.  I think that being a part of today really helped solidify my mom's part in all of this and I know she will walk right beside us each step of the way, too.

My mom and I made it home with great timing on the return, too.  We were back by 11:40 and albeit tired, everything is perfectly falling into place!