I thought I would share what I read to the congregation last night. If you didn't know Ricky, please meet him:
I cannot thank you all enough for being here today to celebrate Ricky. He was one of a kind for sure. The outpouring of love and prayers for peace and strength at this time has been noticed and we are all very appreciative. My mom has asked for us to share some fun stories of Ricky and I thought I would start us off.
A little disclaimer – Ricky was – Ricky – reckless Rick. If we are going to be uplifted tonight and celebrate him as he deserves, there will be some colorful language and inappropriate stories, but those memories that we are willing to share is what will help each of us through this life without him. To my great aunts and others in attendance, please do not be offended by any of this, just know that this is what Ricky would have wanted and this is the ultimate respect for him.
As a child, Ricky was a dreamer. He thought he could fib his way through anything. He’d come home from school with stories that my parents always refer to as the “snake stories.” I think it was coined that because he had to tell my parents one afternoon that he saved a friend, a girl, from an awful snake on the playground. Doubtful, but he was proud of himself nonetheless!
Then, there was that time that he and I were playing red light green light in the driveway. Of course, I was the annoying kid sister and I must’ve said red light too quickly for him to stop. I went inside screaming to tattle about him running over with his bike. My parents were easily over the bickering and dismissed me, telling me to get back outside and play while Ricky was there screaming he hadn’t done anything. As I turned to walk away upset, my parents noticed the muddy, knobby tire prints all the way up the back of my jumper. He couldn’t fib his way out of that one.
Then, there was that time that he was playing with fire, literally, and caught a quarter of the backyard on fire, thanks to boyscouts and lots of pine needles. He was always thinking ahead. In college, while tailgating for a football game at JMU, our keg was about to run out. I saw Ricky leave in a taxi not knowing what was going on, only to see him return in that same taxi about 15 minutes later with a new, full keg. That’s just who he was. He wanted to keep the party going!
Throughout his short life, he had a weak stomach. I distinctly remember hearing him scream one night. We all went into his room and Katie, who was sleeping on the top bunk was ill, puking all over him in the perpendicular bottom bunk. When he moved in with our grandfather last year, I reminded him how anytime Art would close a bottle of something, like dressing, he would first lick the bottle top – I thought Ricky was going to puke right there.
Boy was Ricky clumsy. Time after time, I remember saying and hearing others say “you dumbass.” When he was working with Hank building docks, Jimmy and Jamison were walking ahead of him, they were all carrying out pilons or boards. Next thing they knew, Ricky was no where to be found. But then there he was, stuck in the marsh mud. Within the last year or two, I remember seeing a video of him trying to get out of a kayak and onto the dock only to have capsized and losing his flip flop in the muddy bottom. If you couldn’t reach him, he’d probably lost his phone or ruined it, somehow.
Ricky was well known for sleep walking. We’d wake up and find him peeing in the closet or down the stairs on more than one occasion. His friends would create a bed for him on the floor and hope that he didn’t get up because lord knows what he’d get into. Because of things like this, he was often referred to as a better “outside friend.” I can’t tell you how many times he explained that he walked into the wrong apartment or hotel room during these sleep walking episodes. While all very benign, he is lucky he didn’t get hurt or shot for this crap. He was also known for ravaging the fridge during his late night sleeping escapades. I can’t tell you how many times we had leftovers for supper the next day that were gone in the morning or half eaten and left out on the counter for the remainder of the night. On top of that, who knows what kind of nasty concoctions he was coming up with because the sour cream, salsa, jelly, ranch, and other things were left out, too.
Rick was the worst driver. He was always distracted by something – his phone, someone in the car, a freaking corn field. It didn’t matter. It was terrifying to ride with him. If you said anything he’d look at you like you were stupid and say what, I’m a great driver! In the same vein, how many of us have asked him “when are you going to get your shit together?” I can’t count the times he lost his wallet. He was always doing the dumbest things that just made all of his take Ricky’s signature “what the hell face” and call him a dumbass.
Ricky had a heart bigger than most, sometimes to his own detriment. He learned over the past couple of years that he was such a huge empath and struggled with how to control that. If someone he knew was hurting or struggling, he couldn’t help but internalize that himself. He’d go out of his way to help a friend or a stranger with anything but then not knowing how he’d pay his own bills the next day when he used all of his funds. Talk about money, if it was in his pocket, he was spending it. Another part of “reckless Rick.”
Over the last several years, Ricky and I became very close. Before that, not so much – like the time in college he and Jimmy pressured me into smoking salvia. Bad, bad, awful idea. They thought it was hilarious until Dad got home from work and I was still a hysterical, blubbering mess. I was really looking forward to getting high with him in a couple of weeks. I mean, why not, it’s legal right?
Over the last couple of years when I got the crazy hair to carry a child for Bethany and Phillip, Ricky called daily to check in on me. He walked in on me administering one of the small shots in my belly one morning and freaked out. When I showed him the needle that went in my ass, I thought he might faint. I knew he couldn’t handle it, but he always wanted to know what the next steps were. Just to mess with him, I would tell him everything – vagina this, vagina that until he would be so sorry he inquired and I’d just laugh. Initially, it was like he thought the stork would just kiss my belly button or something. Throughout it all though, he was one of my biggest supporters through the roller coaster ride of COVID, the miscarriage and then failed transfer last year. He couldn’t wait for this baby in my belly to be brought into this world. If only he’d still be around Friday when we deliver this sweet baby girl, but I know Ricky and Katie will be up in heaven celebrating enough for all of us two days from now and she’ll have yet another angel to watch over her.
That brings me to remembering Uncle Ricky and his love for children. It never wavered. In my opinion he was often always trying to outdo the other adults. Initially, he was Uncle Boom Boom to many because he’d always show up with fireworks to impress the kids. Not to mention, he’d scare the shit out of his friends as he held and pointed lit roman candles at them. He had to get the biggest, best gifts for the kids, ones that they never needed – but it is what made him happy. Then, when he became a father, it just intensified. He adored Renn with all of his being and wanted him to be the adventurous, nature loving, curious kid that he still was at heart.
While we will all miss him dearly, 711 will probably miss him the most. Ricky kept that place in business but he got the rewards, so it was okay!
In all seriousness, I think it is important for everyone to know that while Ricky struggled intensely over the last couple of years, these last several weeks, he was happy. He had started a new job in which his employer valued him and thought very highly of his work ethic. Saturday night, he and dad had watched Notre Dame win together and all was right in the world as he passed in his sleep. If it helps you find comfort in the darkest of times, he looked peaceful, even in death. We can’t ask for much more than that. And like he told Renn everyday, it is important that we start each morning intending to “play like a champion today.”
I invite anyone and everyone to stand, one at a time, and tell us something that will make you smile when you remember Ricky – screw being appropriate – instead will likely bring us all some joy.
In Ricky fashion, I will leave you with this (you may have gotten in text form from him last week if you were one of the lucky ones I wasn’t): I can’t believe that after all that shit, they are back together. It gets juicy around these parts so of course you ask who. And, his simple response is "my ass cheeks."
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