incredible care

All of the nurses and physicians I have been dealing with since being here have been amazing.  Especially this amazing night nurse named Brittany.  I don't know what it is, but I want to be her friend.  Because I wasn't able to sleep much, she was in a lot and helping me.  I was on a regimen of the oxycodone, tylenol, and motrin, all at different times.  The epidural was wearing off, so the pain was inevitable.  She was trying to keep me comfortable and also having to give me more meds for the itching through the night.

The catheter had to be in for twelve hours, so around 3am, Brittany removed that and together we walked to the bathroom.  She was proud of me for how well I was doing, but I must say each step was tough.  At shift change this morning, I really didn't want her to leave.  However, the day nurse, Theresa has been just as wonderful.

I have been able to get up and go to the potty on my own several more times today.  Mom came a little bit before lunch time and was able to stay with me most of the day.  My aunt drove back over from the eastern shore and went to the soccer game with Jacob and the kids - I was really thankful for that.  My Aunt Alison was having a few friends to her house this evening so I told my mom she should go to that, which would cut her time with me today short.  I was okay with that.  She needed to be with others, too.  

Bethany and Phillip were in and out a few times today.  It was heartwarming to see them so often and be able to spend time with the three of them.  I held little Makenna a bunch and just soaked in her sweet smell and stared at her beautiful face.  Yes, she is still a little alienish, but that is normal.  However, like anyone close to a newborn, you look beyond that and just find beauty.  

Mama, Papa, and baby were discharged this evening.  It felt like a million years before they got all of their paperwork done, but I was thankful because it meant more time I got to spend with them.  They brought Makenna over before mom left and you could tell they were just exhausted.  I don't think they slept a wink either.  It was almost like they needed a little break and my mom held Makenna for a good bit, another perfect moment to capture in my heart forever.  

I welcomed a shower around 3pm - they said it had to be 24 hours after surgery.  Theresa helped to get me everything I needed and what I couldn't do, like washing some of the sticky stuff off my back, my mom came in and helped with.  Man, I feel like a new person since the shower!  Pain is still here, but that is to be expected.  The bleeding is heavy, yet normal.  

I have already asked the nurse for sleeping medication for tonight since I didn't sleep last night.  They are going to give me hydroxyzine in a little bit, which not only is for sleeping but also for anxiety.  Best of both worlds, I suppose.  I just want to rest and to forget the last week.  Randomly, I am reminded that Ricky has passed and it kills me inside.  It doesn't feel real yet although my mind knows he is gone.

I am looking forward to having Brittany again tonight - she is just so calm and comforting.  Hopefully, though, I won't have to bother her too much because I will be resting.  

What a whirlwind it has been.  I wish I could say I wouldn't change anything but that would be a lie.  If only Ricky were here to facetime us and meet Makenna, too.  However, I know that he is up there, with Katie and so many others smiling down on us, protecting each of us as he would have done if he were here in the flesh.

As difficult as it is, my heart is full of gratitude but remains very sad.