ready?

I feel as though I have been saying for a few weeks that I am ready.  Well, let me tell you, I can say it all day long but I am not.  I am ready for the discomfort to go away and for life to return to normal, but I am not ready to go through what it takes to get there just yet.  This morning, as I walked three miles by myself, I was having contractions.  Totally normal and this has been happening often during my walks.  Today was a little different.  Usually, my friend Kristi is with me and our conversation diverts my attention from the braxton hicks contractions.  Additionally, this time around my back was playing along and hurting pretty bad.  None of the contractions were consistent or for a long period of time.  They were almost constant and quick. 

For the most part, I didn't think I was going into labor, but the back pain was alarming me.  All of the braxton hicks up until this point haven't had any back issues associated, which is how I have been able to determine it was not real labor.  My mind raced the entire walk and I limited myself to a shorter walk.  

When I got home, I let Jacob know I was a little concerned but I would wait it out until I had my appointment later today, but that I was going to focus on preparing a little more than initially intended this early on.  In the shower, all back pain subsided and the contractions came less and less.  Prior to the appointment, the contractions had pretty much stopped and I was feeling well.  

After the morning routine and in between a couple of work meetings, I went upstairs and packed my hospital bag, just in case.  Frankly, it should have been done already.  Candidly, with both of our children, I never got a bag prepared in time and then I had to deal with whatever Jacob grabbed based on my recommendations.  He did just fine, but I figured it would save us the back and forth if we didn't have to do it during fire.  

Also, it came to mind, what will we do with the kids?  We can call Nana, but she is often pretty busy.  Of course we will call my parents but even if they jumped in the car at that moment, it would still take 1.5 hours for them to get here.  My aunt can probably jump in if necessary.  If we can get the kids home from school, we can always take them over to Kristi's to help until the next person could be on point to grab the kids and get the next part of the day's routine done.  I also need to work on creating notes so that people know what to pack for school, what the kids need to wear, what time is drop off/pick up and/or bus schedules on Wednesday.  Ah, so much to think about and I am NOT ready.  I repeat, I am not ready for this baby to come.  Plus, Bethany and Phillip aren't ready either.  They really need to get settled down for them after they move on the 16th before a baby comes into the mix.  

Our appointment with Dr. C went great!  Everything is on track.  Baby's heartbeat is good.  I gained more weight than I'd like to mention.  My belly growth is right on track.  My blood pressure is perfect.  She ended up getting the vaginal and anal swabs preemptively just in case so we know if I need to be on antibiotics for delivery.  To ease Bethany's mind, Dr. C also performed a vaginal exam just in case.  No dilation at the cervix at all.  She feels there is some thinning of the lining and the baby is right there and engaged.  This means nothing other than labor is not imminent today, most likely.  Bethany and I both asked several questions.  I am so thankful that Dr. C is so patient with us to answer everything and help us understand the protocol as things move forward quickly. Plus, Dr. C's assistant is just amazing.  Charity, she is so pleasant and literally makes everyone smile.  Bethany and I both wish we could bottle up her enthusiasm and zest for life and take it everywhere we go.  

A great day indeed, that started a little on edge.  Bethany and Phillip should have closed on their first home this afternoon, too!  Woohoo!  I selfishly cannot wait to have them so much closer!  

Now, time to get ready, just in case!